[Chi]

Hey everyone, most of you probably thought you'd never see me again.
I've been so busy, the only thing I've been doing is going to work then coming home and relaxing.
I started working at a grocery store back in the beginning of June. My parents gave me a choice, either summer school or working. Considering how anxious I get when I go to college I chose the latter. It probably wasn't the best choice considering this will be my 5th year of college and I'm not sure I'll be done in the Spring of 2014, that's what I'm hoping for though. As a lot of you guys know, I'm a Computer Science major, I recently added a Mathematics minor to my agenda. Which fortunately, I will qualify for in the spring.

As for my job, it's been rather difficult. I know you guys probably think I'm just silly or dramatic. I spend either 5, 6 or 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, lifting heavy boxes. My specific department is pricing, shelving and organizing merchandise. I'm not sure if after the summer I'll be able to keep working. I really want to dedicate my time to schooling.

Going back to talking about school for a bit, I'm a little scared that getting closer to graduating and being done that I may crack under pressure. I'm not too confident in my skills and I'm afraid I won't do well without help which was probably a sign I should have picked a different major. Unfortunately, besides the deadlines and stuff I really do like programming. I like programming when I can decide what I'm doing and when it's due. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I'm done with college though. I want to work with a gaming company, either tech stuff or even just Q&A. I think that would be really neat.

My boyfriend and I finally split. After five years, we had no future plans. He expected me to move to him so that he could keep his friends. I never expected him to move here, I was even willing to move when college was done but not to where his friends live. Any of you that know him, his friends have been nothing but awful to me since he and I started dating. And he wasn't willing to stand up for me or our relationship, probably should have split a long time ago... Another thing was, after four years of dating, he all the sudden wanted kids. I am willing to have children, but honestly... I want to adopt. I rather adopt than have children. That's just how I feel. There's a few more reasons but those two big things were kind of why we broke up.

I hope all of you guys are doing okay. I know I'm not around often or at all but I do try to check up and see how everyone is doing. I still care about you guys. Oh, I know this probably isn't the place, I'll check the Gaming forum but I've been playing the new Animal Crossing if any of you want to be friends with me. Send me a PM or something with your Friend Code.

I know this whole post was pretty jumbled and confusing. Why did I post this? I'm not sure, I just wanted to. Just thought I'd let anyone know how I'm doing. I'd love to hear from you guys!

[Lucid:]

Hi Chiwi! **waves**

I'm glad to hear how you are doing. I would be stressed out lifting heavy boxes for hours, 5 days a week, as well. It sounds like you don't have the most fun job but it's better than nothing. I wouldn't worry so much about how long it takes to graduate school; I'm graduating this winter after 5 and a half years, and my husband will finally be graduating after a good 6 and a half years of college! Everyone has their own pace and I don't think 5 years is unusual at all. Focusing on school once fall hits is probably a good idea, considering how project-heavy computer science is.

As far as your confidence in your major, I think it's normal to feel like you can't work it alone. My husband is currently interning as a web developer at Adobe, and even at a large global company the employees look up stuff on Google because they don't know how to do everything. One of the greatest things about computer science is that there are so many free resources online that are easy to understand and tweak to your needs. The fact that you enjoy programming is more important than feeling like you know everything. The most important skill in programming is problem-solving.

If you still aren't done with school in spring 2014, it's not the end of the world. In fact, it's a perfect opportunity for you to look for an internship. Most internships with game companies are really competitive, but learning the skills you need by interning with another software company can open a lot of doors for you at gaming companies. There are a lot of small to medium sized software companies that have really good internship opportunities.

You sound relieved about splitting up with your boyfriend, so....congratulations? c: Definitely sounds like he was selfish and didn't care about your feelings and opinions. You deserve somebody who is willing to do anything to make you happy! I think I remember not liking your boyfriend because of something you said about him a couple years ago. In fact it was probably that thing about his friends. I'm glad you had the guts to break it off and move on.

I don't care if your post is jumbled and confusing! I liked reading it! :3 I followed your train of thought just fine. I don't have Animal Crossing, but if I did I would be your friend!

[Chi]

Hi Lucid! -Snugs-

In relation to work, I'm thinking if I can keep myself from spending a boatload of money, maybe eventually I can buy a PS4 from all that money made. Haha. I make about... 300+ dollars every two weeks, would be more if we didn't have to pay taxes. P: Oh, I see. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about taking longer to graduate if tuition rates stopped going up... but that's just how the world is. Oh yeah, if I do keep working in the fall I'll be limited to only working on weekends, I have class every day.

I've been put in a lot of situations that I have to work on bigger projects alone. I can understand how important it is to learn that way. But, I kind of feel like it's necessary to have a team too. They shouldn't be dependent on one person to figure out all the big problems. I'm glad to hear that not every place is like school. Yes, that certainly is true.

Oh yes, I already have the number for career services to ask about internships or co-ops. Again, I'm hoping to work with a team or at least have enough time to figure out how to do what's asked of me. I've been trying to find something in my field even if not programming but maybe IT work. I think that would be good too.

I wouldn't say relieved. Even now I'm still upset about it. Besides what I mentioned in my first post I feel that he kind of gave up on me. After we broke up, he told me he wanted to try and rekindle what we had, that was going to do what he could. When I told him the same things I had told him numerous times before, "I don't want to birth children." "I don't appreciate when you don't stand up for me." "It bothers me that you try to guilt me into things I don't want to do." etc, he does a complete 180 and says, "I guess it just wasn't meant to work out." I'm still pretty hurt by that. He told me recently, "I keep thinking if I didn't mess up maybe we'd still be together." and I just tell him it was no one's fault. I'm confused though too because I want to move on but at the same time I don't. I'm not looking for anyone but I don't like being single either. I'm sure being single right now is the best thing for me though.

Thanks for reading it Lucid, it means a lot!

[Lucid:]

Yeah, tuition going up does suck. B: I totally want a PS4 though. It looks so sweet. I wish school didn't cost so much, I would totally buy one right away. I am almost tempted to go black friday shopping to get one, but I've never been and I'm scared!

Solo projects are worthless in my opinion. In the real world, there's always going to be a team. Even if you're the one in charge of a project, you're probably still consulting with other people on the best ways to get it done. The only reason class projects are solo is because they don't want anyone skating by without doing their fair share of work, but there should be plenty of ways to grade based on individual contribution that they should give more group work.

:c I still think he sounds like a jerk. He seems like he only cares about himself and would say whatever to get what he wants from you. If he seems like he feels bad but then takes it back like that, he doesn't mean it. I don't want to sound harsh but it probably is best for you to be single right now. If you put him out of your mind and just focus on yourself and your needs, I think you'll feel better. <3 Treat yourself to something special every once in a while too!

[Chi]

Well, I made enough money that I can buy one. :3 After a month, 700 dollars. Yay. Oh man, Black Friday Shopping is hard, especially with places that have stuff like that. If you're not like between 1-20 of the first customers, you miss a lot of good deals. ):

Yeah, I totally agree with that. I feel it's better working with people and being able to help each other instead of sitting there feeling helpless at times. I've made some good friends though that are willing to help me sometimes. :3

I'm still friends with him, we're just not dating and likely won't date again. There needs to be changes before we'd date again and I just don't see it happening. I changed the way I felt about stuff to make our relationship work, he didn't and he won't. So, we're not dating anymore. Being friends is okay with me though.

[Lucid:]

Yeah, I've never been Black Friday shopping before, but I'm afraid that if I don't go right at the very beginning, everything would be sold out or close enough to regular price to not be worth shopping for. I'm also scared that I'll get trampled. :x I've always liked Cyber Monday, it's much safer, but I doubt that they'd have a good online deal for a PS4 just because it's so new.

Group projects are the best. :3 I've made a lot of good friends through group projects. I'm lucky because in advertising, it's literally impossible to do a project on your own, so everything is group projects. It gets hard during midterm and finals time though because I have to schedule out so much time to meet with every group!

That's cool that you're still friends. You're really mature about that. :3 I feel like I would throw a big baby fit and eat a couple buckets of ice cream! xD

[Chi]

I went once last year and almost missed out on the 3DS I wanted. I got a black 3DS with gold Zelda etchings on it. I remember being in the middle of the line of people, by the time I got in the store, the PS3 bundles were sold out. Haha.

I've made a few friends here and there. Some I don't communicate with anymore though... I think that's a good way to make friends too by doing group projects.

Thank you, it was really hard at first to break up with him. It was even harder to stand my ground too. Knowing me, in the past I would bend over backwards or give up when he stopped trying. This time I stood my ground and I'm happy for it.

I have another problem though. I want to quit my job. As stupid as it seems, there's a few reasons. I thought I would be able to handle school and work when I start school again but now I'm not so sure. Getting so close to the end and being able to graduate I feel I may need to dedicate all my time to school. That's one of the most important things to me. Another reason is the recent problems with my family. My grandfather seems to be getting sicker and sicker lately, we're not sure how much longer he'll be alive. Everyone is really worried about him. And yesterday when I was at work, my mom went to the emergency room. She was having chest pain so they kept her over night to test her for 24 hours. I feel extremely overwhelmed and when I'm at work I'm unhappy. Everyone there is really nice and helpful but I don't know if I can take the pressure. I'm a little too shy to ask for time off or what if they deny me because they don't understand what I'm going through? All of these factors are stressing me out and making me miserable on the inside. I'm trying so hard to just be okay but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to talk to my parents about it, because I feel they'd give me a hard time for it. I know they're only looking out for what they believe is in my best interests but they don't truly understand how I feel on the inside. Every time I've tried to explain it, my parents don't understand. I don't know what to do.

[Lucid:]

I definitely think quitting once school starts up would be a good idea. Having the distraction and stress of work will just make school worse. As far as right now, if you feel like you can't handle it with your family situation right now, then you have to do what is best for you. I would try asking for time off first though. The worst thing they can say is no. They can't fire you or punish you for asking. And even if they did, well, you were thinking of quitting anyway, right? :) I hope your mom is feeling okay now. I'm sure that's got to be really stressful. You might not know what to say to make your parents understand how you feel, but maybe there's something you can do to show them?

[Nexess]

I'm sorry this is probably terribly random of me but may I make the suggestion of taking a leave of absence instead of quitting? Most employers will understand, hopefully yours will as well, and this way you will have a job to go back to at the very least. I would talk to your supervisor and see what your options are before deciding that quitting is your best choice.


I really did read all of your guys conversation, but I'm usually pretty terrible at advice, so I shall say keep going and may the force be with you.

[Chi]

The suggestion of taking a leave of absence or time off, is not a bad one at all. To be honest, I felt giving my two weeks notice was a better choice of me. It likely won't look good on a future job application but I'm much happier with this choice. I feel at ease knowing that I won't have to worry later about both when school starts.

As for my parents, I wrote my dad a note explaining what I'm going through, my emotions and how his support can help me. My parents weren't happy about me quitting obviously but I hope eventually they'll understand how light I feel. Like a weight has been taken off my heart. I know they want what is best for me and they were just looking out for me. I feel that this was what was best.

My job was understanding too. My supervisor said she was sad to see me leaving and sad to hear the "bad news" but when I explained what I felt, she understood. She's on medication for depression herself. Until my two weeks are up, I'm going to continue trying to do my best. I've began something else to occupy my time as well. I started making Lets Plays on youtube which is something I've been waiting a long time to do. I can't explain how happy this makes me feel right now.

[Lucid:]

I'm so glad you feel a lot better now, Chi! My job is actually working with people who make Let's Plays and stuff on YouTube, and it looks like it would be a ton of fun to do that. What's your channel? I'll totally subscribe and watch your videos. :3

[Chi]

Thank you! I was going to make a thread about Lets Playing in Gamer Haven but I was afraid that it would be flagged for advertising. I wanted to talk about other Lets Players but also link my channel since I'm just starting out and it's easier to spread it around on here or other forums. You let me know though. Here's my channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/SerahBear

With good news comes bad news though. My mother got screwed over at work... She started working at a new hospital, she's not new to nursing but this clinic was just created. She was given no training or orientation. She worked with doctors who were doing things they were not authorized to do. And the one night she had that panic attack. While she was in the hospital for this panic attack, they removed some of her wires which should have set off some alarms, it didn't. She asked to be switched to another unit. The administrator went behind my mom's back and told everyone she resigned. This reflects badly on my mother, not the hospital which is beyond stupid. When my mom went asking questions her options mysteriously dwindled down to: come back to the unit or quit. To add more to it, my mom can't apply to another unit in that hospital because the administrator needs to sign a waiver and she won't. So yeah, this hospital screwed over a nurse who actually WANTS to help people. Why is the world so damn messed up?

[Lucid:]

It's totally fine to make a thread about let's plays on youtube. :3 We've had some good talks about advertising recently, and as long as you're not soliciting money, scamming people, or advertising a competing site, it's pretty much fine to link somewhere. I also think that youtube let's players is a good topic for gamer heaven. I subscribed to your channel. :3 Your icon is super cute!

Oh man, that's totally messed up! That doesn't sound like a very good work environment at all. There probably aren't a whole lot of other options for her though unless you guys live in a huge city with lots of hospitals. :/ That totally stinks. Is there anyone higher up she can talk to about what's going on, or is that administrator the big boss? I wish people weren't so messed up and power hungry like that. :c

[Chi]

Of course. I couldn't even ask for money I have no paypal yet or a P.O. box. Haha. But, I don't think that would happen anyways, I just want to entertain people! I started up the thread, I hope it takes off. The thread in Gamer Heaven. Oh, thank you! My GameSage wife bought it for me. It's based off of one of my favorite outfits on Eden Eternal which is the game I used to 'mod' for.

Well since the hospital isn't part of it's bigger organization yet, they have a board made up of people in the community. Turns out my uncle is part of that committee so... yeah. Hopefully that stuff will get sorted out. They did however today give her another option. She's allowed to "bid" on other jobs in different units/hospitals which means she can try and get a job in a different unit/hospital and she still has her benefits for a while. So... It's gotten a little better.

[Lucid:]

I'm really glad things are looking better for your mom. I hope everything gets sorted out and she can get a job in another unit!

Yay thread, I will go read/respond to it now! :3 Actually nevermind, I responded and then realized I didn't send this post. xD It's a great thread and it seems like a lot of people are interested in let's plays!

[Chi]

Yeah I hope so too for her. She deserves so many things that she hasn't gotten. I just want her to be happy.

Yeah! It's going a lot better than I had hoped. Here's to good things to come! -Imaginary glass raise.-