[Meizicht]

It is amazing how an argument over a lightbulb has kicked off the road to giving my boyfriend his freedom. After these days of insanity and worry, things are progressing REALLY well. Sunday, he snuck online and told me he was going to find the public defender/attorney and tell them everything the next day ( Monday ). Today ( Thursday morning ) he signed on and told me:

"Well, I went out to social security and I got my check switched over to me as the payee rep
And I actually got a court case against my mom soon
Still talking to the Public Defender about it. xD But essentially, I can stay in the house since my money went into staying, too
Meh, she can't harrass me anymore. We've already had cops talk to her.
They discussed my rights as an adult and if she harrasses me, I can just call my attorney
And he'll have a peace order
And no, but I'm going to be more active as far as schooling goes"

Told him he needs to get away from her asap, and if anyone wants that the most, it's him. lol
No doubt as soon as he can, he'll be in his own place.
I'm so happy. I'm shaking, I'm so happy.
AGH I CAN'T GET OVER HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. My mom even shouted "yayyyyyyy" when I told her, lol. And this is like 3am.
As fast as things are getting better, everything looks so good.
FINALLY!

What's been happening the past week:

The original issue is no longer a problem, but the situation is still ongoing. I need to keep this here just in case I really get pulled into it, and they need some kind of record of what happened. I'm saving everything, writing it down as it goes, and I want to keep it until I know it's all been solved.

Preferably someone who had experience with this kind of thing or knows someone who did.

My boyfriend's mother is abusive, a narcissist and uses religion as her cover for it. She demeans him every chance she gets and recently became physical about it. I wont go into deep detail about it because that may violate his privacy, and I don't want to put more stress on him than he's already got.

He left last night, and I'm so proud of him for that. If he sticks with getting on his own two feet, things will look so good for him, he'll get more of his confidence back and he'll be genuinely happy. He's told me this, decided this himself, and I'm doing my best just to wait for him to tell me he's okay.

But because of him leaving, his mother continues to call me, all night ( instead of being an honest caring mother and going out to find him herself ). Telling me it's my fault. That he "owes" her his life. Continuing to demean him even to me, which I will not stand for. So I told her exactly how I felt. I told her she was abusive. She could call the police on me, because I had nothing to hide. I could tell the police exactly what she's done to him. And I hung up.
This would make the 18th time she's called me, at 4:34 in the morning. After messaging "FUCK YOU!" through his messenger.
I'm in another state entirely, but this is ridiculous. She wont leave me alone. She threatens me, harasses me, and calls me at ridiculous times of the night. If this keeps going, there wont be any peace.

What I need to know is if the police can do anything about this. If she continues to harass me, if I have a name she goes by, would that be enough? I keep conversation history, and I rarely clean my phone ( because I hardly use it ), and I would turn it off but I'm worried about him and I'm waiting for him to contact me to tell me he's okay. But he really needs to get away from her. Her abuse needs to stop.

If the police can do something about this, I will not hesitate to call them.

( The times which she calls me are around or less than 10 minutes apart. )

Edit: Number of times she's called is up to 20 so far. Slowed down but it's still going. I think she's also getting onto his accounts to stalk me online.

New info:

Well, new things happened.
This could be one of two things.

I'm really cautious because for one, his mother has harassed me a lot before. I want nothing to do with her, because she is abusive and wants to manipulate everyone, including me. And it wont work.
But today, I got a message from his account on facebook, which was tip number one; He knows I hardly use facebook. If he were to contact me online, it would've been through YIM. But at the same time, I have no idea if it's like the fastest way he could say anything to me or something like that. Second tip was his way of typing was way off. It didn't seem like him, but again, idk if he was being bothered or rushed. Third tip; he seemed to be giving up too easy. I asked for something only me and him know about, but he picked something that's on facebook to give to me, so that wasn't solid enough that it was him. So I still don't know.
But I sent, in hopes that no matter who it was - if it was him, he'd see that someone did care about him and what I thought of him, and if it was her, she'd see what I thought of him too - about how he's a great person, makes good music and had a passion for it, as well as writing, and didn't deserve being abused. That I was hoping no matter what happened that he'd be alright and no matter how long it took that he could definitely make it on his own two feet. I said I wasn't shallow enough to give up just because someone else told me to.

If it turns out that he's not told me something, or lied about anything ( I don't think he has, but I've got to consider all possibilities here ) it's going to wreck me far worse than anything else. This is looking so similar to what happened a couple years ago. And that had already messed me up enough.

But this isn't about me. Right now, focus should be on him. Just have to keep waiting to see how things turn out for him and if he's alright. Just never know what I can believe and if that was really him or not.

And I wanted to put this public because if things did go more insane than they already are, I've got it down as it went, and people have seen it. I'm saving everything, remembering everything and putting it down as I've heard and experienced it, so if anything happens, there wont be confusion or a mess. I think that's a good idea, probably.

I hate that I can't help him, but I'm thousands of miles away. That frustrates me the most. I wish there were more honest people so there wouldn't be so much suspicion about whatever I've said. She's convinced that it's all my fault, and apparently, according to whoever was talking to me, he is "not allowed" to speak to me anymore.

Because a virgin who has never touched drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, nor have they been arrested or in trouble for anything in their life, can be the worst influence on a person.
-___-
Sucks that the world is made up of idiot hooligans that make honest people look suspicious. It's all so unnecessary.

New info:

Sorry for the double post, but new stuff happened again.

He managed to contact me himself.
I was right; this morning it was his mother trying to impersonate him to manipulate me and/or make me give up. But that didn't and wont work. Not on me.
I'm so, so glad he's okay. He also seemed in good spirits. Police were involved but it seemed like it wasn't as bad as it could've been. I'm so relieved. And I also know he's not breaking under pressure as well.

I told him everyone along with me were behind him, and that he should focus on his own future. Sooner or later, he'll be truly happy, and hopefully maybe his mother will realize what she's doing isn't right. Maybe sometime she'll get the guts to admit what she's doing. Maybe turn it around and finally be a better person.

My mom's been helping with information, and the next time I see him, I'll be telling him to go to a public defender, tell them exactly what has been happening.

Ugh, I'm so relieved.

1/1/2013:
Kai's mom left this in his copy-paste:

bitch i dont extort money. and you need to mind your fuckin business. stay out of my family business, whore. i dont dont fuck wit your family.you believe everything my son tell you.fuckin crazy ass bitch.both computers are minds from my money that i made selling my products from my business.my son doesnt tell you the truth. youz a dumb ass bitch who is in our business. i got my own money saved up and i dont tell my son what im doing cuz he's on here talking to a witch. you need to stop preying after my son. you dont know him. you internet whore. stay away from my son. i'm not going o tell you again. BITCh AS LONG AS I KNOW WhO GOT MYYYYY COMPUTERS AND MYYYYYINTERNET, I DONT CARE how long it takes, i will get them back. my son has his own shit. i told him to stop talking about my business to you and anybody. he continues so, i will do what i have to do. you dont know my son. but you will find out

Leaving this here just in case.
I am pretty sure that committing SSI fraud and peddling on the streets is extortion enough. And I said so. And she didn't like it. So now she's making threats.
This is exactly why I made this thread in case police have to be involved even more.

[Merlin]

I would suppose if you had information that can track where your friend's mom is, you can get the cops involved. Just keep the harassing messages as proof, and I think your friend should stand his ground and tell his mother off. He doesn't owe her a damn thing and I'd say if she ever wants to see her baby boy ever again when he leaves, that she straighten her ass up, but I wouldn't say that until he's ready to leave at any time. She might wander into his room with a steak knife if said now.

[Merlin]

Simply put, phone harassment is illegal. As long as you have proof and of her whereabouts, she is committing a crime.

[Meizicht]

I don't know where either of them are ( I just know what city ) since she got them evicted recently and yesterday was when they were supposed to be in a new place. Which was when this all happened.
On one hand, I'm so glad he finally is sticking up for himself in a way he should; going and getting on his own two feet. We always talked about him finally starting his own life, not letting her bring him down anymore, and I really always admired how he never really let it get under his skin, nor is it reflected in his attitude. Me and him have been glued together for almost three years, and three years of proof should be enough for her to see I'm not backing off and abandoning him. But she's a narcissist; everything that isn't in favor of her is the "devil" or evil and she will not listen to anyone else. There's no reasoning with her at all. Words don't translate with her. All she hears is herself.

But, anyway, since I don't know her address or anything, I can only give the police what city she lives in and the proof I have. If it starts getting unbearable again, though, I may have to call them just to give them what I have.

Waiting is just difficult for me. OTL
+worried half to death+

[Kaguya]

I've had to deal with this in the past from my ex.

If she is being abusive through messenger keep the logs, every time she calls take a note of the time/date/how long the calls lasted and a summary of what was said, it is just stronger evidence that she is doing this... If you can record the conversations I'd do that too. If she is contacting you through email/skype abandon it or block her. with your cell or home phone you can block her number or even change it.

[Meizicht]

On the note of blocking and changing my number; I can't do that because I'm waiting for him to tell me he's alright. I told him to try, even if it's on a payphone to let me know he's got a place to stay until he gets a start on his own life, and until then, all I can do is wait. I also cannot block numbers because I have a tracfone ( prepaid phone you can't block numbers with their service. )

She's been getting on his messengers, his accounts because she has his computer and phone. I can't block them in case he goes to a library or somewhere that he can get on and tell me anything.

Right now, I've been ignoring the calls from the number she's using. I'm avoiding making it any worse by not answering, and so far, that's been good. Because if she does get the police involved ( or if I do ) I want nothing that I say to be used against me. Besides, it is not her that I'm concerned about; it's him. He's my priority. So I want to be able to answer when he contacts me.

But yes, I always keep logs of everything anyway. All she has sent me was a "FUCK YOU!" through his yim, and I've seen his facebook active ( which it couldn't be him because he's hardly ever on it and wouldn't be contacting me through that because he also knows I hardly use it as well. ) so I know she's trying to snoop through his things.

She keeps claiming that he's a "vulnerable adult" but he isn't. He can make his own decisions; all he was ever formally told he has is ADHD, and even then, it isn't that bad. This is how she demeans him, telling him he's "stupid" so he can't be without her. Which he knows now is not true. She's been taking his SSI checks, and panicked when he tried to get his GED and a job. ( She didn't allow him to finish classes for his GED because she dragged him across the country to Indiana. She also has been blaming that on me. ) She even had the nerve to tell my mom that he "owes" his life to her. I can't imagine a parent having such an entitled attitude towards their own kid.

It's just a mess. But if he sticks with living independently, it will all sort out and he'll finally be happy. The waiting and the worrying is just what's getting me most. @__@

[Kaguya]

Owes his life to her... get that woman a straight jacket. No kid owes their parents their lives. The parent brings a child into the world through love not so they can hold it over their heads like that.

It sucks you can't change your number and I can understand where your are coming from for the rest of it. Hang in their Mei it'll work out for you both and if you ever want a cuddle because it's getting to much feel free to pm me.

[Meizicht]

Thanks. He needs the support more than I do though. Hell, he's so much stronger than I am, being able to take all of this on. That's why I'm always so offended when she says he's "stupid" or can't live on his own. She's never stopped to see the person he is, the things he writes or the music he makes. Talks about politics more than I can handle, lol
I hate to gush, but we know everything about each other, down to the embarrassing crap and beyond, and nothing even this big has been able to crash it with us. Pretty sure this is proof enough.
Hate that I'm the only person that I know of who pays attention to him and who actually cares enough to stick with his decisions and help him out honestly. ( Though with me, comes my family and my friends which if it got bad enough, I'm pretty confident we'd all pitch in in some way, no matter if it's just a "good luck" or whatever. )
Hate that his own mother views him like that. As just something to take from and use. Ugh. I want to think she can have thoughts like an actual parent, that she can care about him, but she hasn't done anything to show it. She just treats him like a personal slave. x__x
Graaahhh.

[Kaguya]

Sometimes supporting the one that need support is the best way to help Mei.

I know what you are feeling when it comes to the gushy stuff my fiance and I are like that ourselves.

[Meizicht]

Lol I keep thinking I see the light on my phone flash yellow ( when it's yellow, it's not a number I have in my lists, so I know it's not her since she always calls from her phone. ) so I keep freaking out for a split second thinking it might be him.
I'mprobablytired.
But I wont be able to sleep yet. @__@

[Kaguya]

Mei, take my advice go to sleep you'll be no use to him if you're tired.

[Meizicht]

Lol, I know, but I really can't yet. If I lay down by myself in a room now, I'll just overthink myself an ulcer again. @__@
Or an ocular migraine festival.
It always happens when I overthink. Been doing my best not to.

[Kaguya]

Then draw something Mei

[Meizicht]

My mood is like the origin of things I draw so right now, I'm too edgy and worried to be inspired enough. @__@
I might tomorrow, when I've slept on it and calmed down more.
I'm alright compared to past situations. Haven't gone temporarily blind and I haven't needed any pain meds yet. xDDD
( I joke because it's true OTL +pitiful unmanlyman+ )

[Kaguya]

~Cuddles more~ Mei, sometimes taking a blank piece of paper and letting your hand wander is a good way to get things out, or write an angry letter and burn it.

[Meizicht]

What I've been doing tonight/this morning has been the best for me, actually. For me, having people hear what I need to say is what helps me get it off my chest. ( I've tried the rant in private stuff, and it's only made me isolated OTL )
Tomorrow/later after I manage to sleep will be a good start. I'll probably be all "YEAH LETS DO THIS" and magically gain confidence about everything, lol.