[littl3chocobo]

well the first read strange since it was ultimately only two sentences long and did not contain any natural breaks

the second is full of fragmented lines, what about 'the boy'? who is 'the one'? i think this one would benefit from being like the first in that it does not have many stops

the third i cannot even understand, you need to heavily revamp it so that there is content to it. right now it is mostly just words sort of put together loosely, none of it really says anything on any level be it emotional or grammatical

the fourth would actually be nice if you used proper punctuation and clarified where the end and beginning of the sentences were

the fifth was a little off, near the middle and end the words started becoming jumbled and unclear again though i am not sure if punctuation would help or if it is the wording itself that needs correction

the final one is a single sentence and suffers from cluttered repetition, parse back and keep it to one 'sound' one 'place' and no more than two reasons you desire to rectify the issue with the boy lost

actually you should take the three boy fragments and put them together as a series set of three, they all need revamping and badly but the underlying theme of them is sound. boy found<boy obtained<boy lost


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