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BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default This is a Dirty Euphemism for Watermelons: The RP [Blue x Spider]   #1  
The place was an acrid, shit-leveled dump and with each passing moment Tritonia looked at the populace with a disdain that rivaled emperors staring down the masses. A small girl moved to look towards the gilded bard, only for the woman to reach out with a taloned hand and shove her away as she made her way to the first place she could try and use to escape the nasty heat. A few more steps on the disgusting road and the first some-what welcoming door - Tritonia was in, hurling her cloak to whatever person was welcoming the bard into...

A brothel. Tritonia wasn't surprised in the slightest a place like this would even exist here. There was nothing to do here on this heated blight of land other than fornicate and churn out more dark-skinned children to beg and whine at their betters. sneering and glaring at the Madame, the bard forced her way to a table and slumped down, pulling out a small jug from her sides, and slugging back the thick, red-colored nectar inside before sniffling and tossing a few coin purses onto the table in front of her.

If she was gonna be here amidst a sea of bosom and arsecheeks, she might as well attract a whore or two. She could probably pay to do atrocious things to them if the price was good enough, and a few pretty-sounding songs would do well to force whomever into doing her fancy.
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 12:07 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
Nanika knew the woman was going to be trouble the moment she stepped in. Trouble didn't show its face often, but when it did, it looked like that. She picked up the gold from the table, looked at in the light, and upon seeing that it was legitmate pocketed it and raised her eyebrow at the well-dressed woman. "Did you come for only a drink, or to have a good time as well? We only have ladies here, I'm afraid, but if those suit your fancy, I can think of one or two that might be willing to give you what you want."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 12:16 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #3  
"I didn't come here for literal human garbage to just pick up my money and start barking out services. You're lucky I'm too tired to brain you for being a pain in my ass." Tritonia glowered, rolling her eyes and dragging her feet up to rest them on the woman's shoulder. The bard sneered at the woman for a second, aching and begging her to try and shove her legs away before she waved her hand. "Fine. I don't care. Drink. Something strong so your coworkers have a semblance of attractiveness while being covered in whatever spewed out from a man onto them. I'd throw another bag of gold on the table if you could get the smell of cheap incense to disappear too."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 12:27 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #4   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
The woman did not look amused, pursing her lips at the bard and folding her arms. "You stepped into my establishment. If you'd like to be served, I would be happy to see to it that you are, given that your gold is good," her voice was thick as honey with an accent thicker than that. "I'll see to it that you have drink. If it is as you say and you're willing to pay more, I'll also see to it that the incense is put out. Wait here while I find someone you may find suitable." Now, she did move the bard's legs from her shoulders, any signs of gentleness merely superficial and she disappeared through a doorway without a door - unless strings of beads counted as that.

Moments later she re-emerged, another dark-skinned woman on her heels. This woman held in her hand a mug of something and her gaze followed the outstretched finger of the proprietor. Through the din of the other customers the words could be heard, "That's her," though after that her voice lowered. Most likely, she was saying something along the lines of a warning for a difficult customer, but soon after the latter was approaching the table with the bard.

She offered her warmest smile, setting the mug in front of the woman, "Nanika mentioned that you asked for something strong. I'm Chidi, and I'm here for you, if you'll have me."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 12:39 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #5  
"Correction: I was practically forced to be here. A swarm of children made sure of that. Your people should stop letting starving orphans run in the street." Tritonia spat out, venom coating a saccharine, eerily-divine voice that seemed to be too pure and precious for someone as rotten as the bard in front of Nanika. The bard's legs hit the floor with a small plop and Tritonia scowled, crossing her arms and pulling out a small harp to fiddle with its strings.

Chidi now in front of her, the bard's nose flared and then the woman shrugged at her newly founded waitress? Whore? Whatever the proper term was, before kicking at the table in front of her and grunting. "Set the mug on the table. Take a seat. Don't smile. I know you're faking the whole happiness thing. You're selling your ass for coin. Just think of serving me as a break. I just want to stare at you. Instead of this shitpile of a brothel. At least the Midlands know how to treat a hero properly."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 12:52 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #6   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
Chidi did as she was told, setting the mug down without any great deal of force, taking her seat. The woman saw right through the facade. She was sure her other patrons did as well, but none were so forward about it. They all knew that she was there to please. Her smile, as ordered, faded immediately. Wondering what kind of facial expression she should use in its stead, she let her face melt to the one that felt most natural for the circumstances - a ruddy scowl.

"Alright, then. You're very good at stating obvious fact that people don't generally feel the need to say, I see," Chidi kept her posture straight, her hands folded neatly in her lap. "So you're a hero, then? Are you the type to regale your whores with marvelous tales of your adventures, or just one to say that you've had them without the stories?" The threat of the smile began to curl her lips, but she quickly repressed it, looking steadily at the bard who had yet to give her name. She just wants to stare at me? she found herself wondering, That is...unusual.
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Last edited by sylvanSpider; 05-07-2018 at 01:07 AM.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:02 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #7  
Tritonia treated the mug with greedy abandon, the woman gripping onto it with clawed fingers from her gloves and slugging down several large gulps of alcohol before covering her mouth to let out a small, hesitant belch, delighting in the crisp flavor before it was soured with the sound of Chidi's voice. "I'm stating the obvious because you Southern savages apparently need blunt honest in order to make this place a little less atrocious. Get the hint." Tritonia muttered, before crossing her legs and coughing a bit. "I'd regale you with a tale if you want. Probably the story about how I singlehandedly murdered a count while he was with his son. Poor thing. Nothing's more sad than a seven year old pissing himself before being entranced by song into stabbing his daddy's neck."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:10 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #8   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
Chidi watched with wide eyes as the bard downed her mug, marveling at the fact that it was she who was called the savage. "I can be as savage or as civilized as you need me to be, but clearly we have different tastes as to what constitutes 'atrocious.' I like it here. Yes, I wouldn't mind a different occupation, one with a bit less sweat, but Nanika takes care of us, and there's a roof over our head. I don't consider that atrocious in the least." Chidi was doing her best to sound civilized. She prided herself with being able to read her customers, and Nanika saw to it that the girls were educated so they'd be able to hold a conversation with nobles if need be. One of the girls was even able to marry up into nobility because of this, but Nanika never hoped for that. She only wanted to be able to afford a place of her own one day. "If you believe us Southern folk to be such savages, why are you here?"

Chidi blinked, "Well, I was going to ask, but it seems you've told me all of the important details. Why...why would you make a child do that to his own father? It sounds...Well, it sounds barbaric...."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:22 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #9  
"Atrocious is watching poor people touch me with their hands, expecting a hand out. Atrocious is the fact half of these women in here are pilfered off to men, when they could be farming my fields. Both the literal kind and the other kind. Even though you're all ugly. Save for you. Maybe." Tritonia snorted, opening and closing her hand. She takes care of us. Wah wah wah. Because you're all to weak to take care of yourselves.

"I'm here because I have to be. I'm supposed to be using my voice to pulp someone here. I just don't feel like smearing their matter into the walls right now. And because I'm looking for someone as well. You wouldn't know them. You're not important enough." Tritonia huffed, chugging more ale and sticking out her tongue and cacking at the aftertaste from the metal of its container. "...Why would I sully my own hands? The Count had a habit of preying on peasants. That's rude. They're good for exploiting for monet. 'Oh Miss Tritonia. Please save us from perdition. Play us a song.' It's so amusing when they think they're people."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:31 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #10   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
Chidi was...appalled...to say the least, but she was also fascinated. She'd dealt with corrupt city officials and even worse in titles higher than that, but this? This was the worst behaved individual she'd ever seen. It made her wonder. Something had to make her like that. She was bitter at something, something had to have happened to her in the past to make her this way. So, she decided to play her game. "I'm thankful that I might not be ugly enough that you have something at least adequate to rest your tired eyes on," Chidi said carefully. "If you have fields and are willing to employ them, I am sure some would jump at the opportunity. We're not slaves here. We can come and go as we wish."

Here, Chidi raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure that I wouldn't know? I may not be important, but we get some important clientele through our doors and I am often matched with the more important of them. Well, the high officials and women as Nanika knows my own preference and tries to cater to that."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:40 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #11  
"I mean, if you were pretty and in the utmost rarity, more beautiful than me I would have scarred you by now. Dance." Tritonia hummed, pale cheeks flushing a little as her mug was drained, the bard plucking away at idly at her harp; notes filling the air. Nothing in rhythm or meshed together in tune. It was...Bizarre to say the least. An Erich Zann-esque cacophony of tunes that seemed to make the air heavy and nauseating. "I'd employ them. Their pay is being able to bask in my perfection." Tritonia mused, snickering to herself and clicking her tongue in her cheek.

Towards Chidi's rather rude and offending question of possibly having some sort of upperhand against the glorious and flawless hero of this tale, Tritonia glared; her hand strumming down the harp in one rowdy hiss, before she set it down and leaned in close; finally settling on spitting on the woman. "You don't know anything. And now you're ugly because you've opened your mouth wrong. Send for Nanika. And tell her to fong you for being a trite piece of trash. Begone."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 01:58 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #12   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
Chidi was silent for a moment, all her thoughts regarding the woman's past now gone and replaced with pure hatred for the woman. She was thankful for the first order to stop her smiling, as forcing one now would be an impossibility. "Few could come close to your beauty," Chidi finally said, truthfully, though the words dripped like venom from her full lips. She was taken aback by the last order and her brow furrowed, "Dance? Here? You don't ehm...want to take this to my room?" The air around her felt heavy and she wasn't sure if it was because of the harp's being plucked, the heat of Osta suddenly coming into her awareness, or the aforementioned hatred. "I'm not sure if they would be willing to part with pay for that.

"I apologize for the fact that I wasn't able to satisfy you," Chidi said, grateful when the "music" stopped, and she stood to follow the final order. "I will tell her what you said, though I doubt she will acquiesce your request."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 02:09 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #13  
Now free from the confines of lesser people in her eyesight, Tritonia basked in the glory of being alone for a bit longer before loneliness did set in. The stupid girl was somewhat amusing was. Huffing at her own impatience in being able to handle and deal with others, and now realizing she was without someone to serve her another mug of ale, the bard simply flung the cup to the ground and crossed her arms, impish urges overtaking her while she regressed to the state of a spoiled child without anything to entertain her. It might as well been a shoddily made high chair made for a large woman.

Time passed as Chidi went away and kicking her legs, Tritonia resorted to using a finger talon to carve her name into a table, along with several crudely drawn attempts to have Chidi's face being swamed and attacked by voracious and rather phallic looking wasps. Or bees. Whatever they were.
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 02:34 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #14   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
As barbarous as the woman was, she was grateful for the break and the early dismissal. Upon her retreat, she relayed the information to Nanika who shook her head and squeezed the bridge of her nose with a sigh waving Chidi off to her quarters. Chidi flopped on her bed, feeling the warmth of the sun on her bareback streaming in through the window. Her appointment with the bard had given her some extra time, and that time was going to be allocated to a nap. Still, she couldn't help but feel guilty that Nanika would have to worry about dealing with that woman.

Nanika approached Tritonia's table, crouching down to pick up the mug setting it down angrily on one of her carvings. "I hope you realize that you will be leaving enough money to compensate for a new table," she said frankly. "Is this supposed to be Chidi's likeness? Pray tell, what did she say to make you loathe her so much? She is as confused as I am on the matter."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 02:41 AM Reply With Quote  
BlueInTheShell BlueInTheShell is offline
Barrel of Monkeys
Default   #15  
"I hope you realize the money I gave you already should suffice? I mean to replace this table it'd only take say, a few copper pieces and letting the carpenters gangbang your brothel workers." Tritonia said with a pert little smile and then huffing; turning her head to the side in a giant 'Hmph!" when she was asked what she didn't like about Chidi. "Well for one, she was only -sorta- pretty. She also proceeded to call me rude names and did mention something about trying to do horrible things like be nice to others and question my methods."

Tritonia grunted and looked towards Nanika, finally sitting up and then leaning against the madame; alcohol rolling off her breath while she droned at the woman. "The carvings do look like her though right? I captured her hideousness spot-on."
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut.
"So come home," said Ground Control.
"So come home," said the Voice from the Stars.

“And he goes around killing people?” said Mort.
He shook his head. “There’s no justice.”
Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME.
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 02:56 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #16   sylvanSpider sylvanSpider is offline
Weaver of Webs
"There are countless others who disagree with you on her appearance, and she is the finest we offer," Nanika said with an equal amount of dryness to her voice. It took every fiber of her being to resist slapping the woman across the face referring to her girls like that, but then she remembered. The sack of gold was enough to reimburse her for a table, and several more besides. One gold piece would have purchased another table of that same quality, and she had several with her. "With the amount you gave, we ensured you had the best. Though, I do not question her distaste for your lack of kindness. If you'd like, I can fetch her so you two can sort this matter out?"

"I...I would not say hideousness. She, like...a majority of your carving at least, are lovely. In fact, I'd recommend going into the arts in the North," Nanika muttered. "I'd even argue that your attention to detail means that you thought something of your escort."
All that is empty in the drawing should be filled in, the teacher said to us kids. First you sharpen the pencil to fill in the thin whiskers, then you use the thick crayon to fill in the wings with brown, meticulously and without letting the crayon leave the page. Six feet can be traced below the soft belly. Now, breathing is hard to detect on paper, the teacher said to me when I asked, but it is easier to feel it in real life.

Even insects breathe.

-Rawi Hage, Cockroach
Old Posted 05-07-2018, 03:04 AM Reply With Quote  
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