[Solucet]

Hello. To be honest, I'm -- struggling with this, the introduction, the... initial portrayal and its... reception, I suppose? I've never seen myself as being gifted with such things, and navigating social structures is always extraordinarily difficult at first. Especially here, for me, but that's not something to concern yourselves with (which begs the question of why I mentioned it in the first place, but at this point I'm writing without necessarily thinking).

This community was (somewhat playfully) recommended to me a long time ago, and I suppose I just recently decided that I could at least -- I don't know, try? Just trying to do something like this is honestly far more difficult than it should be for me, but I suppose your acclimation to social situations doesn't necessarily improve unless you make a conscious effort to be a part of them. (Ironically, I'll probably be fine after writing all of this.)

Of course, now I feel as if I'm writing in some insane loop, probably revealing far more than I intend to (which I suppose happens anytime someone writes anything at all), which of course brings to mind the fact that I'm writing this once again. So much for writing without thinking about it (should I delete all of this now? I don't know).

I've decided not to, at least for the moment. I suppose the least I can do is mention some things that are worth knowing about me, so... I guess that's what I'm doing now (although I can never really decide what to say and what not to).

Well, firstly, I'm somewhat agender, or rather, my gender tends to vacillate (though I'd say I primarily identify with "female" if I had to choose at this point). I'm a poet and short story writer, though I haven't written any short stories for a couple of years now and I only recently wrote one poem which I'm really rather ambivalent about. I'm socially awkward (obviously), tend to be highly opinionated, and have tastes that are probably best described as "pretentious." I'm also somewhat neurotic and certainly obsessive-compulsive about certain things (spelling and grammar among them, which I suppose is useful for a writer).

Beyond that, I don't really know what to say. I mostly wear black and consider Sylvia Plath a personal idol, but I would never call myself a "goth" or anything of the sort -- labels and categorizations like that are fundamentally flawed (if convenient) in my opinion. Now, having said that (and started on that tangent) I feel as though I could start rambling again, which is something I'm very good at doing. Especially if it puts off the inevitable action of actually making this logorrhea public. I suppose that means it's time, then.

(Let's see how long it takes me to actually post this now -- approximately forty-five minutes from when I finished writing this, so I suppose that's not too terrible. If I can actually hit "Submit New Thread," that is. "Preview Post" is much easier. Okay, I'm doing it, and leaving this text here -- I'm not sure why.)

[Poggio]

XD Well you certainly win for the most verbose introduction I believe. I am not sure if I am reading this correctly, but there is no need to be so anxious about Trisphee. We only bite after asking, if you can pardon the clichéd expression. I believe you will like it here. There are quite a bit of writers on here already and some that are growing into it. If you need any help let me know and well welcome to trisphee.

[Salone]

No worries mate, you'll do fine here. I know this is the internet, but Trisphee is lacking on the judgmental types. Rather laid back sort we've got here.

I was incredibly forum-shy when I first joined, and I think it took me about 2-3 years to finally crawl out of the two threads I had holed myself up in. They're a surprisingly welcoming bunch.

And rambling is good! Rambling is how you pass off a roleplay post when you really don't have much to add.

You'll do well here.

[Angel Spirit Girl]

Hello, Solucet. Welcome! No need to worry. We're all friendly here. Just say "hey!" and walk on in.

[Sei]

Welcome to Trisphee, Solucet! :3

We have a small community of great writers here (in my humble opinion), so you may find yourself calling the Writers' Diary forum home. If you have any questions or just want to chat with someone, feel free to leave me a comment or send a Private Message.

See you around the forums!

[Lawtan]

Welcome! *Hugs*
I hope you like Trisphee. :-)

I love your quote...and your uncertainty is something some of us know well :-)

I hope you stay on Trisphee. I think it is a good place.

[Fauxreal]

[Espy]

Hey, welcome to Tris.

[Solucet]

Originally Posted by Poggio

Well you certainly win for the most verbose introduction I believe.

I tend to do that, apparently (this isn't the first community where I've been told that). I'll admit, I was slightly amused after I posted that introduction and immediately received an achievement named "MEGAPOST." Then I looked at the achievement and saw that it's rewarded for posts that are half the size of my introduction.

That was... yeah, "amusing" is the right word.

Originally Posted by Salone

I was incredibly forum-shy when I first joined, and I think it took me about 2-3 years to finally crawl out of the two threads I had holed myself up in. They're a surprisingly welcoming bunch.

I'm just exceptionally shy in general -- I tend not to talk very much in any case (which probably explains, at least to some extent, why I tend to write so verbosely). That's not necessarily directed at Trisphee in particular -- or forums in general -- I'm just naturally very timid. Needless to say, I've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, but the fact that this is an online community with some relative distance to everything is pretty much what enabled me to say anything at all.

It's really that initial entry-barrier that's almost insurmountable to me in most circumstances. That, and anything which involves lots of fast-paced communication or large groups of people -- fortunately, this site seems relatively small and slower than most. For me, that's a very good thing.

Originally Posted by Sei

We have a small community of great writers here (in my hunble opinion), so you may find yourself calling the Writers' Diary forum home.

That probably is where I'll spend a decent amount of time. I'll admit, I'm also... uncertain about displaying anything that I've written both out of natural fear (which is usually something along the lines of a fear of rejection or personal embarrassment) and due to the fact that I don't know how appropriate some of the things I've written are. My poems and short stories tend to be... very dark.

Originally Posted by Lawtan

I love your quote...and your uncertainty is something some of us know well :-)

One of my favorite quotes of all time. Unfortunately, I don't know who actually said it, though I'm sure the internet would tell you it's either Mark Twain or Albert Einstein (since they've apparently said absolutely everything that was ever worth saying in the first place). Here's the sarcasm in case you missed it.

And... "uncertainty" is something of an understatement, but I appreciate the thought behind that. Thank you, at least, for trying to put me at ease.

Originally Posted by Lawtan

I hope you stay on Trisphee. I think it is a good place.

If I'm going to live up to my reputation for brutal honesty... I'll just say that I'm incredibly unsure. I'd like to talk more and get to know people perhaps slightly better, at least, but I've never been able to find a community of people that actually appealed to me, personally.

That shouldn't be taken as an insult or offensively in any way -- that says more about me than it does about anyone or anything else. I'm just... very particular.

[Lawtan]

Truth: Your fears sound a decent amount like some of mine.

Fear of Failure, Perfectionism, Extremely paranoid around people/fearful of their judgement...potentially leading to a fear of places occupied by people.

I am in no way understating your fears. I know my own have largely hurt me...just take your time and take/find what you need. :-)

However long you are with Trisphee, you are welcome...and even if you leave.

[Solucet]

I didn't necessarily mean that you were understating anything as much as I was trying to say that the words themselves are an understatement... if that makes any sense at all. That's what I meant by pointing out the thought behind the word itself -- I think people often misinterpret words by taking them literally without any thought to the underlying context behind them. It was the context that I appreciated.

It's certainly very easy to take things personally, especially things that I say (I've been called "abrasive" more than once, despite having absolutely no intention of being that way) -- which is also ironic, considering I tend to take things rather personally as well... the exception being critique, as I actually enjoy learning about where my writing is weak or what could be subjectively improved upon.

And again, I'm wandering off on tangents. I'm good at that, really.

[Sei]

Originally Posted by Solucet

That probably is where I'll spend a decent amount of time. I'll admit, I'm also... uncertain about displaying anything that I've written both out of natural fear (which is usually something along the lines of a fear of rejection or personal embarrassment) and due to the fact that I don't know how appropriate some of the things I've written are. My poems and short stories tend to be... very dark.

I won't tell you not to be afraid of embarrassment, because I understand how bad that can be, but I think our writers are very accepting and good at providing whatever you want (whether that be commentary, reviews, critiques, or even to leave what you post alone). As for darker writing, you might want to chat up our lead writer, Suzerain of Sheol - he's pretty proficient with darker stuff. *nods* :3

[Solucet]

It's funny you should mention that, actually, as I've known Suzerain for years. He was the one who recommended this site to me... three years ago, I think. And yes, it has taken that long for me to act upon that.

When it comes to embarrassment and such, that really has a lot to do with the fact that I used to consider myself at least somewhat competent when it comes to writing, but as time has passed, my own opinion of my writing has withered significantly -- which is probably due to my waning self-esteem more than any actual fault with the writing itself.

On the optimistic side, I guess it's a good thing that I'm aware of the fact that I'm obscuring my own ability to see anything I've written as anything but dross. (And I severely over-complicated that sentence.)

[Ginger]

Welcome to Trisphee, Solucet! Enjoy your stay here :) Congrats on the Megapost achievement, by the way!

[Sei]

He's a great guy from the little I know him (wish it was more!). I'm glad he was able to convince you to try us out. :3 We need all sorts of people on Trisphee; if everyone was the same, it'd get boring real fast. *nods*

I know the feeling about the loss of confidence in your own writing. I used to be very proud of my writing, but lately it's been more uninspired essay and proposal writing that inspired creations of poetic art. I miss having the confidence to just put pen to paper and feel it was some of my best work, but maybe that'll come back again some day.

[Solucet]

He was able to plant some small seed about three years ago. I'm not sure we ever really discussed the site very much after that -- I know it came up every once in a while, but overall, I was just aware of this site's existence for a long time. Admittedly, I have eyed things from afar before, but this is the first time I've actually done anything about it. As to why I decided to do this now, I honestly have absolutely no idea. I know why I'm here, but why I came to any conclusions at this particular time is anybody's guess.