[KittyBeary]

When a store closes in your town but you see one in the town you're visiting and decide to go there a couple days later to find out IT'S ALSO CLOSED DOWN.

Am sad. ;u;

[Stabbsworth]

tfw you don't have much of a sense of self as opposed to piecing things together from other people.

a post abt ppl mimicking each other's tone of speech being normal is vaguely comforting.

[Kaderin Triste]

Ugh, I'm probably gonna have to start job hunting again soon. XP

Got the "phone talk" at the museum. Basically, you've been caught looking at your phone and S would appreciate it if you'd leave it on a shelf during your shift."
Which...okay fine at most typical jobs you don't get to have your phone on you, whatever, but literally everyone else gets to have their phones on them. Everyone else gets to TAKE PERSONAL PHONE CALLS during the day and check Facebook (I know, I've seen them do it), but oh no, just ban my phone usage (which is 99% just listening to music so I don't want to die quite so much in the early mornings) because you caught me changing songs on my playlist, checking the time, or sending a quick 2 word response to my dad so he'd stop spamming me.

It's the hypocrisy of it all that bothers me the most.

[Stabbsworth]

that sucks ass, triste.

[Stabbsworth]

actual daily awful: wildly worried about a friend bc the most recent post on his purrsonal tumblr says 'i give up' and i'm just.

i know i'm wildly paranoid and anxious but i don't want to lose anybody.

[Coda]

Originally Posted by Voidbarker

tfw you don't have much of a sense of self as opposed to piecing things together from other people.

This is more normal than you might realize, especially at your age. The general path of human social development is relatively consistent from person to person, although the details and timing vary.

Babies aren't born with an ability to distinguish themselves from the world around them. It's some time late in toddlerhood that most children begin to understand that other people have identities in their own rights. For most of childhood, then, a child's identity is tightly bound up in the concrete facts of day-to-day life. It isn't until the teenage years that humans start to develop a personal identity independent of one's parents and the social constructs they're forced into like school and family.

Teenage angst and rebellion come as a result of this growing drive (both internal and external) to develop one's own identity. You realize how much your life is out of your control as you start to build up a sense of personal agency, but your outlets for self-expression are limited. You naturally want to become your own person instead of what the authority figures above you want from you.

One of the easiest ways a teenager can express their own agency is to choose who to associate with, and it's only natural to seek out similar people. With little personal background established yet but an undeniable urge to define oneself, it's only natural to latch onto those things that you see in your social group.

That's not going to change until you start getting some real agency in your life -- when you're able to make meaningful choices about yourself and your future, when you're not directly dependent on other people to make it possible to get by. Getting out of the house for college is a very common time for this to happen in the western world.

a post abt ppl mimicking each other's tone of speech being normal is vaguely comforting.

It's not just normal -- it's instinctual, a part of how humans build societies.

Originally Posted by Kaderin Triste

Ugh, I'm probably gonna have to start job hunting again soon. XP

Got the "phone talk" at the museum. Basically, you've been caught looking at your phone and S would appreciate it if you'd leave it on a shelf during your shift."
Which...okay fine at most typical jobs you don't get to have your phone on you, whatever, but literally everyone else gets to have their phones on them. Everyone else gets to TAKE PERSONAL PHONE CALLS during the day and check Facebook (I know, I've seen them do it), but oh no, just ban my phone usage (which is 99% just listening to music so I don't want to die quite so much in the early mornings) because you caught me changing songs on my playlist, checking the time, or sending a quick 2 word response to my dad so he'd stop spamming me.

It's the hypocrisy of it all that bothers me the most.

This is why I started wearing a smartwatch. People have a lot less of a problem with you glancing at your wrist instead of pulling out your phone, even if you're doing the exact same thing. Music controls and time checks are trivial, and most smartwatches have the ability to send canned responses to text messages.

[Kaderin Triste]

Originally Posted by Coda

This is more normal than you might realize, especially at your age. The general path of human social development is relatively consistent from person to person, although the details and timing vary.

Babies aren't born with an ability to distinguish themselves from the world around them. It's some time late in toddlerhood that most children begin to understand that other people have identities in their own rights. For most of childhood, then, a child's identity is tightly bound up in the concrete facts of day-to-day life. It isn't until the teenage years that humans start to develop a personal identity independent of one's parents and the social constructs they're forced into like school and family.

Teenage angst and rebellion come as a result of this growing drive (both internal and external) to develop one's own identity. You realize how much your life is out of your control as you start to build up a sense of personal agency, but your outlets for self-expression are limited. You naturally want to become your own person instead of what the authority figures above you want from you.

One of the easiest ways a teenager can express their own agency is to choose who to associate with, and it's only natural to seek out similar people. With little personal background established yet but an undeniable urge to define oneself, it's only natural to latch onto those things that you see in your social group.

That's not going to change until you start getting some real agency in your life -- when you're able to make meaningful choices about yourself and your future, when you're not directly dependent on other people to make it possible to get by. Getting out of the house for college is a very common time for this to happen in the western world.



It's not just normal -- it's instinctual, a part of how humans build societies.



This is why I started wearing a smartwatch. People have a lot less of a problem with you glancing at your wrist instead of pulling out your phone, even if you're doing the exact same thing. Music controls and time checks are trivial, and most smartwatches have the ability to send canned responses to text messages.

Unfortunately it's too little too late for a smartwatch since I can't even have my phone on me at all amymore and since smartwatches don't play music themselves, but just control music on the phone so...
Plus most smartwatches that I can actually afford generally don't have those features or don't work properly because they're cheap knockoffs of the expensive name brands. Granted I've only bought 2 ever. 1 was basically just a digital watch/pedometer combo, which also was supposed to monitor sleep and heart rate, which it did. Badly. It measured my resting heart rate as bouncing between 65ish to 185ish.
The second one I bought wouldn't even connect to my phone.

[Coda]

Actually a number of smartwatches do have onboard music playback these days. It's considered a desirable feature in a "sport" watch because they're designed to let you not have to lug your phone around when you're out for a run.

And if you leave your phone in the pocket of your coat / in your locker / whatever (I can't imagine you're required to leave your phone at home, that sounds excessive) then whenever you're close enough to it you can still check your text messages.

I do recognize that smartwatches can be a bit on the expensive side, especially if you want one with music playback. I personally consider it worth the investment for jobs like yours.

[Kaderin Triste]

At this point, it's not high priority. But maybe in a few months I'll get one. Idk. I'm not big on wearing bulky stuff. I rarely even wear bracelets.
*shrug*
I could theoretically just wear it at work, but that hinges on me being awake enough to remember and/or care about putting it on.

[Stabbsworth]

> gets a response that i consider to be passive aggressive from the friend i was worrying about
> oh boy, time to worry if they hate me.
> want to die over it
> ffs.

(will probably be fine, for the record. i genuinely can't be arsed to harm myself.)

[Kaderin Triste]

Was getting ready for work and discovered there's a hole in the bottom of my boot. In addition to it coming apart along one side, there's also a fucking hole through the bottom of my fucking boot. I have absolutely zero pairs of shoes that aren't literally falling apart right now and no one in town seems to carry anything in my size that don't have those stupid foam soles that are only good for infrequent gym use because actually walking on a street rips the foam soles to shreds on the gravel and cement. I know. I bought a pair once. They lasted 1 month. If that. So I have no shoes.
Just kill me now already and end this misery please. XP

[Death by Mirrors]

Ugh yeah, I can relate so much! I finally was able to acquire proper winter shoes with a good profile and sturdy sole, but I had to look in so many places. And I'm not even shopping in the ladies aisle.

[KittyBeary]

When you want quiet and to not talk to people and your sister keeps yapping. u_u

[Biomecha]

Realizing that I'm such a lowlife that it's now been 9 years that I've slept on a couch and not an actual bed.

[Stabbsworth]

i mean, if the couch is comfier for you, best to use the couch, y'know?

chitters quietly. friend responded, apologized abt being snippy, so that's. good, i guess? i don't really have a server i share with them in discord so i can't exactly go in-depth but i can't blame them for being a bit snippy w/ that.

[KittyBeary]

It's too warm x(