[Pocket]

So July 24th my hubby and I will have been married 3 years.
With everything thats been going on... I don't think its going to be a happy one..

He hasn't said anything about doing anything or having a "at home date" since money is tight.


But something new has started to kinda bug me. Not because of who it is..but because of where they go.

One of his younger brothers has been coming around more..yesterday I was out with friends that I haven't seen in almost 2 years.. so when I was getting ready to come home, my hubby said he was waiting on his brother.. No big deal. So I stayed a little longer with the friends dreading going home and feeling lonely... but it happened anyways...

My hubby later texts me saying they were at a night club drink and dancing.. this is like the 3rd time that him and his brother have gone to a club in like a month..

Now please don't think I have an issue with him hanging out with his brothers... its not that. Its the fact that he never says "hey lets set some money aside from a few pay checks and go out just the two of us."

When he sent me a text about him dancing... I replied "As long as there isn't some skanky all up on you." His reply "Naw".

Not one time saying "I love you." or anything like that...

I think this is just doomed...

[Serah]

I'm really sorry to read all that and I feel bad for you.
Have you tried talking to him about this? I'm just asking is all.
And do you know for sure if he's spending his money on these drinks and stuff or if it's brother?

You have every right to be upset, I'm not trying to say otherwise.
I had a similar situation with my ex. I don't know how you feel completely but I can understand.

Try talking to him about it avoid being mad or accusing. Avoid stuff like, "You can waste money and time in bars but not with me?"
He'll likely get defensive and try to ignore you if that happens.

Then again I could be completely wrong...
Either way, I'm sorry for you. )8

[Pocket]

His brother pays because he knows we don't have the extra cash.. I don't know why he does it but what ever.. We have talked in depth about issues a few weeks ago and nothing really is changing for the better. I wanted to talk to him the other night but he was busy playing a video game.

[littl3chocobo]

maybe the brother is trying to cheer your hubby up, you might not be the only one who is upset and needs a friend

[Serah]

Chocobo does have a point.
Um, but yeah. I feel it would help to try and discuss it but don't push it.
He might become upset if you push it though.

There is the possibility that your husband still doesn't see how it's effecting you.
Everyone is different.
When my ex-boyfriend did a similar thing, I tried explaining to him how I felt and he literally could not understand why I was upset.
It took me ignoring him, for him to realize I was bothered and when I explained it one last time, he listened to me.

[Yokuutsu]

I know you're different from me, but I'd have a problem with him going to a club period. With his brother, by himself, or anything like that. Especially since ya'll are married.

And about him needing cheering up maybe, you don't have to go to a club to do that. Him and his brother could just hang out somewhere that is not a club where there is alcohol and skanks. Because I've learned to not trust men on their own. They tend to do stupid/bad things.

Personally, talk to him again, if he ignores you....next time he goes out with his brother, if you catch him before he leaves, it's ultimatum time, but make it clear that it isn't bothering you that he's hanging out with his brother. And all that.

BTW an anniversary shouldn't be the only time for dates at home or out. It doesn't have to be a special occasion (though I do understand the money issues and all). Just saying.

And if the husband does need cheering up, why couldn't he tell you about the problem instead of leaving you in the dark about it?

Maybe I put too much importance on marriage, but I believe that means he should be able to tell you (and you him) what's bothering him.

[Pocket]

Yoku~ He said in the past that I turn everything around and make it his fault.. I told he that if I do..I don't realize it and I was sorry.. He feels like our convos can be summed up in about 5 minutes. He talks to his mom more then me.. Its awesome for him to have a close relationship with his mom because they have been through a lot.. And with some of the stuff they have told me, I'm surprised he isn't more messed up.

I tried talking to him a lil bit last night and he was like "today can be what you make it.." I'm like oh ok so its just going to be a regular day then..

I told him that he said the other night I needed to go to the bar that him and his brother went to.. Ok then why is there no "hey lets start setting some money aside for a few weeks ((I get paid biweekly)) so you and I get have a date night."

You could hear a mouse fart it was so quiet.. but it didn't help that I was laying down and have no sleep the night before and passed out...lol.