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Jester Jester is offline
Psych
Default   #2289  
~Sometimes I just don't know anymore. I've been dealing with abuse almost all my life. I'm tired of dealing with it and all the stress from it just makes everything worse. I tried the police, I tried family, I tried being homeless, I even tried getting away back at the doctor's. It's just more and more and I know it's never going to stop. It's gotten to the point where I'm getting Where are you messages every some minutes every time I leave. I know it's never going to stop and I can't even save to leave. No matter what I do, how many I fill out , no matter how many call backs I make I'm permanently unhireable. I don't even think that other one wants me.


Get well soon Coda.~

Anyone want my stuff?
Last edited by Jester; 01-22-2023 at 06:48 PM.
Old Posted 01-22-2023, 05:11 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2290   Dalhanahue Dalhanahue is offline
Blue Fish
Coda,
Definitely the last thing you need right now. I love our kiddos but when they bring sickness and crude home from school it's friggin really?! I get a bit OCD and start wiping everything down and asking them to stay in their rooms and not touch stuff lol. I mean, I'm still compassionate to them being sick and get them what they need but at the same time I get tired of it just cycling and cycling through the house.
Old Posted 01-22-2023, 05:22 PM Reply With Quote  
Coda Coda is offline
Developer
Default   #2291  
My son inherited my immune system, it seems. He doesn't get sick very often at all, and when he does he usually gets over it pretty quickly, but every once in a while something really packs a punch. This is the first time I can think of in his 15 years that I've caught something from him instead of all of us coming down with something from a common source.
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 01-22-2023, 06:59 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2292   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is offline
Pixelist
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jester View Post
~Sometimes I just don't know anymore. I've been dealing with abuse almost all my life. I'm tired of dealing with it and all the stress from it just makes everything worse. I tried the police, I tried family, I tried being homeless, I even tried getting away back at the doctor's. It's just more and more and I know it's never going to stop. It's gotten to the point where I'm getting Where are you messages every some minutes every time I leave. I know it's never going to stop and I can't even save to leave. No matter what I do, how many I fill out , no matter how many call backs I make I'm permanently unhireable. I don't even think that other one wants me.


Get well soon Coda.~
can relate. in my case, i've got weird emotional issues resulting in me being unable to do customer service work, and nobody around here seems to want any other workers. quite frankly, i cannot be paying out the nose to go on a bus that might not even come to get to an interview.

the jobs i have found that are remote either require a DBS check, or are commission-only pay. or they require qualifications, which i do not have.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 01-23-2023, 07:28 AM Reply With Quote  
Kaderin Triste Kaderin Triste is offline
Truthwatcher
Default   #2293  
I've let my brain take over again and have kind of slid back into my bad not cleaning things habits again.
XP
Really gotta fight my brain again.
Old Posted 01-25-2023, 03:21 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2294   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is offline
Pixelist
god forbid you tell chronically online transmascs to listen to transfems.
'hey we should listen to transfems.'
'YOU'RE TRANSMISASNDRT'
'no, i'm saying we should listen to transfems.'
'STOP PRETNEDING TO BE ONE FOT HE GOGGD ONES'
'how about you stop putting words into my mouth, and maybe listen to transfems.'
'BAEDDELISM!'
'...'
'TRANSFEMS AREN'T THE GOLDEN COWS YOU THINK THEY ARE'
'fucks sake i'm just goingg to post the fukcign scug gif'
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 01-27-2023, 06:08 AM Reply With Quote  
Coda Coda is offline
Developer
Default   #2295  
I hate that about so much of the world these days... It's like people don't realize that you can listen to someone without being compelled to agree with them.

It's also like people have forgotten the proverb, "a stopped clock is right twice a day." Even people who are perpetually wrong can occasionally have a good point.



On a related note, I had what I thought was a pretty mild disagreement with someone. The channel was discussing a YouTuber, and he jumped in and dropped a link to a Reddit thread about how that YouTuber is supposedly a bad person. I looked at it and the thread was about a different YouTuber who had cut ties with him and said he wasn't going to go into detail. The comments were almost all talking about how he'd stood up for a white supremacist, except that the white supremacist in question had realized the error of his ways three years prior -- that guy had made friends he didn't realize were Jewish and he realized his own life experiences proved that the propaganda hole he'd fallen into was a lie, so he made an apology and hasn't reoffended since.

I pointed this out and expressed that I thought the YouTuber in question wasn't a bad guy. Just one message. In response, the chatter who linked the thread left the server, and he and his boyfriend pulled out of all of the community projects, including abandoning the main project's domain name that they had been running.

Now one of the project founders has put $500 in escrow to try to recover the domain name... I don't understand how some people can be so easily upset to the point of doing damage to the community in a rage-quit.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that the domain name is expired, not cancelled, so maybe that part was a coincidence...
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 01-27-2023, 04:10 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2296   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is offline
Pixelist
christ. the kid that voluntarily joined up in helping me run a blog on tumblr has completely nuked the damn thing and when i checked back on there after a while, the damn blog was on lockdown. i know the subject matter we were doing was sure to offend a lot of weirdos on the site. about the only conclusion i can come to is that the other mod was harassed off the site, given that i can't find their blog.

the reason i was there was to effectively try to shut down any discourse, and to be the adult in the situation. fuck's sake, i should have noticed this earlier.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 01-28-2023, 08:19 AM Reply With Quote  
Kaderin Triste Kaderin Triste is offline
Truthwatcher
Default   #2297  
*sigh*
It looks like, for the second time in 2 consecutive orders, I'll have an Etsy shop wait until an order is overdue on it's arrival and then (hopefully) refund it.
I mean, it's past the "ship by" date, but still has about a week to actually be shipped and arrive so we'll see.

I mean, I get that unexpected things can happen, and maybe that's the case this time too, but I wish people could take like what? 30 seconds? and just temporarily close their shop or at the very least add an announcement to the shop banner so I don't order. (And I know there are lots of scammers on there now, but the current shop I'm waiting for is one I've bought from before and I know they're good...)

Idk. Just kinda need to vent my frustration at orders taking forever and/or just not shipping. At the very least if it was noted in the item info that orders could take 2+ weeks to ship, I wouldn't be mad. I just want advance warning of long prep-times tbh. Especially when half the comments mention "fast shipping".
Old Posted 01-31-2023, 09:35 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2298   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is offline
Pixelist
has a fucking cold ->
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 02-02-2023, 06:21 PM Reply With Quote  
Coda Coda is offline
Developer
Default   #2299  
I'm getting old... I've got degenerative disc disease and facet arthropathy in my lower back. This sucks.
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 02-04-2023, 12:23 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2300   DreadedMartian DreadedMartian is offline
MWAHAHAHAHA!
My mother was diagnosed with 2 types of cancer February of 2022. I quit my job, left my own home to move in with her to help her. There were so many ups and downs and besides my sister who lives in Tennessee I was the only one helping my mom. My mental health fragmented. I couldn't sleep. I was constantly so afraid something awful would happen. I pushed myself past limits I didn't know existed. To this day it still feels like it wasn't enough no matter how hard I tried.

After getting an infection from arthritis it seemed like things were bouncing back. My mother could walk again with her walker without having to assist. She was very insecure about losing her independence. So having her move around and do things on her own gave us both a lot of hope.

On July 3rd she laid down to take a nap and so did I. Worst choice I ever made. I woke up to this feeling I can't truly describe. It was like an electric pulse shooting through my soul. I went upstairs to check on her and she looked so peaceful.

She must have had a seizure while napping and aspirated in her sleep. I called 911 and performed CPR till help came. She did not make it.

Now at 32 I'm so lost. I feel like I have no identity. But truly the worst thing is feeling like I failed her. I couldn't save her.

Now I've subconsciously turned myself into a hermit. I tried getting another job but it doesn't feel it's going to work out. I really want it to because I truly enjoy it but my brain can't seem to get its shit together. I cry constantly. Which isn't really new, but has increased to a very inconvenient rate of damn near every time I have a thought.



“The Dreamer awakes
The shadow goes by
The tale I have told you,
That tale is a lie.
But listen to me,
Bright maiden, proud youth
The tale is a lie;
What it tells is the truth.”

― Traditional folktale ending

Old Posted 02-04-2023, 02:46 PM Reply With Quote  
Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is offline
Pixelist
Default   #2301  
aye, look, whatever happens. it is not your fault. these things happen.

you able to seek psychiatric help? or therapy. either works. the grief will take a while to lessen.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 02-05-2023, 12:58 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2302   Kaderin Triste Kaderin Triste is offline
Truthwatcher
Having to fill out my yearly evaluation. Ugh.
Gotta get it done by tomorrow for sure, but I stress about it so much.

Also am doing dumb things and causing myself anxiety by reaching out to an artist to send what I hope is received as a nice, wholesome message regarding a decision they're struggling with and not me being pushy and weird. Ugh....why do I do dumb stuff?!?
Last edited by Kaderin Triste; 02-09-2023 at 04:30 PM.
Old Posted 02-08-2023, 10:02 PM Reply With Quote  
Jester Jester is offline
Psych
Exclamation   #2303  
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stabbsworth View Post
can relate. in my case, i've got weird emotional issues resulting in me being unable to do customer service work, and nobody around here seems to want any other workers. quite frankly, i cannot be paying out the nose to go on a bus that might not even come to get to an interview.

the jobs i have found that are remote either require a DBS check, or are commission-only pay. or they require qualifications, which i do not have.
~ It sucks like no matter how much you try or what you do nothing changes. I've tried so much different places here and nobody wants to hire me.

I just want so badly to get away from my abusive roommate. I know it's never going to happen. It's also gotten even worse. Any time, each time it happens I just can't take it anymore. I'm also sick and tired of almost being done with things only for him to come in and fuck it up. Each time. Literally every fucking single time. I can't take it I just can't. I can't do anything.

I actually met with someone and she's like yeah see a therapist, they can help you. You can work towards moving and getting away from your roommate. I tried, I fucking tried. Oh we say we take this but we actually don't because we want to fuck everyone over because you have to pay out of pocket. Here's another big fuck you because we don't take that ether even though it says we do. Oh and so on and so forth and so on. Everything is just so frustrating.


So last night we had one of those bugs again. I couldn't even do anything about it because fucking roommate did something with the spray bottle. Probably dumped the thing in the sink again after I told him not to over and fucking over and fucking over again. Then and his big mouth keep me up so I barely got any sleep at all. I had something important to do today and I know it's going to be bad because of him.~

Anyone want my stuff?
Last edited by Jester; 02-11-2023 at 03:41 PM.
Old Posted 02-10-2023, 06:34 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2304   Kaderin Triste Kaderin Triste is offline
Truthwatcher
Not super awful, but I just want to whine about it more...bruised the fuck out of (the side of) my knee on Valentine's Day. As in...a MASSIVE purple bruise from basically like an inch above my knee down to about where my tall boots hit (which is like upper calf-height/approx 2-3" below my knee). I can tell it's already slowly healing, but ugh. I hate being clumsy sometimes. And it was my own fault for not paying attention to where I was walking. xP
Old Posted 02-18-2023, 02:45 PM Reply With Quote  
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