[Alyssia]

These are just poems of mine I'll post 2 in each post always. I hope you enjoy them. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome

Deviant

My deviance is yours
All the little things that I could never get away with
You do them so casually, without a second thought
Sometimes I wish I was you
I wish I could....
But for now I'll settle for secretly living out my
taboo dreams through you.
All those little things you do to bend and break the rules
How I enjoy watching you

Its a sly smile of envy that I ware when I look at you
doing all the little things that you do
The company that you keep, the words that you speak
They're all so seemingly opposite of me, like forbidden fruit from a tree
Maybe its so, and maybe its not either way its my eye that you've caught.
I like what you do, in a way it makes me like you a little more too
My deviant...is you


Doll

All the things that I can't see.
All the things that I don't realize.
All the things that everyone knows I can be.
They just aren't there for me.
My eyes do not see them,
My ears can not hear them,
My senses are oblivious to it all.
Much like an enpty doll I sit and listen to it all;
It sounds like meaningless babble to me, in
a language that I can not speak.
Because I don't understand, that's why it means nothing to me.

Sometimes I wish I could see all the things that they see.
I wish I cold look into that pool and see something other that the self that I see.
I wonder when it will be there for me. That reflection that everyone so fondly speaks of.
That reflection that will take the place of the me that I've come to know.
The me that I've become so unhappy with. I want to know what everyone
is so happy about when they look into my eyes.
I see them as cold and empty, as everyone else sees them as filled with joy.

I am much like that empty soulless doll on the shelf, unknowing of the gifts stored inside her, unfeeling of the love and joy that surround her. I am that doll on the shelf there, waiting for the day that I will awake and say, this is the me that I've been missing. This is the me that everyone has been blessing. This is the real me, and now I can cast out this empty shell and become that person that everyone so fondly speaks, that person that everyone is so happy to see. Yes, now is the time for this doll to leave so that I can welcome the real me.