[SparX]

No the point was gotten across just fine =P
I had to re-tell it to my hubby

[Den]

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

[Illusion]

Originally Posted by Kaderin Triste

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says "AU, get outta here!"

And and a sort of joke/rhyme I've always loved:
Johnny was a chemist.
Johnny is no more.
Because what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

ﾍ(=￣∇￣)ﾉ

ANOTHER!

[Kaderin Triste]

A Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers and says, "five beers please!"

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

[Den]

A man walks into a bar. His friend ducks.

[Death by Mirrors]

Alright, I will only make science jokes periodically from now on.

Instead, how about some useful instructions?

How to Mail Anthrax (have to put it in spoiler tags for obvious safety reasons)

Step 1:
Buy Anthrax. I recommend Spreading The Disease. Check Amazon, eBay or your local Walmart.

Step 2:
Packaging your Anthrax correctly is important, so make sure you get a padded envelope. To reduce the chance of your package being opened or mishandled, make sure you have written the recipient's name in clear, legible letters.

Step 3:
Be sure to use sufficient postage, so your Anthrax will arrive safely at its intended destination. If you want, you can mark the envelope with instructions, eg. "Caution Fragile, Do Not Bend, Anthrax Enclosed".

Either way, anyone who loves old school metal will certainly appreciate your package.

[Lawtan]

I...wow...that punchline...

I...got no jokes at the moment, so I'll just be dropping banana peels across the thread.
*Drops peel*
*Slips on peel*
*Gets up*
*Drops peel...*

[Espy]

Okay, I raised my eyebrow at a few of those. Good job.

[SparX]

I have tossed out the tickets for these jokes XD
Why did the turkey cross the road?



To prove he wasn't chicken

[mdom]

Why material do you use to make a clown outfit?
...

Polyjester

haaaaa

[XoGizmooX]

All Gizzies jokes are dirty......



And I don't have enough soap to clean them up -.-

Naw but really my favorite joke is about a dog named $3# (3letters)
And the dog gets lost so the owner goes around town and tells a cop he's looking for THE WORD (the dog) etc so it looks like he is doing dirty stuff :D

[Lawtan]

I came. I saw. I was lame.

Now why was I lame? Well, it all started one November morning - you know how those cold snaps can really mess with people's minds, right? I mean, when I woke up, I was seeing a peach speaking on the television.

"A talking peach. That's odd," I thought, and continued my day. But, as I walked out, I saw more and more people wearing peaches for hats. They were holding up signs for the peach and really in the way for my job. So, I just kicked back and listened to some...oh dear gods, Nickleback...and prayed to get through it all.
I went to work, but there was nobody there. It was like the staff had prepared for some kind of imp-pocalypse. But, I ain't no slacker, so I set down at the desk, and started the daily job of moving one file to the other. Bored...so bored...

Anyway, I finished work and got into the car, only to find an imp in my car. The imp was extremely rude, as imps often are, and I asked him to leave. Being the rude - did I mention rude yet? - imp that they were, they responded with a series of epithets that I care not to repeat in public. So, we're riding in the car, when one of the peach-goers - an officer covered in peaches - gets in front of the vehicle. I lover the window to ask what the problem was, and the officer starts throwing peaches at the imp. Now, I generally don't do this, but the imp was incredibly verbally belligerent, so I complied with the officer, and let him drag the imp out.

Then I went home, to watch the news of an officer peaching an imp.