[whitexsuicide]

I am so afraid to post this up here, for i don't want it to get stolen. So this is how i am gonna do it. I will post up a bit of my story every once in awhile and if i get enough comments and such i will post more, until i have no more.

I have started a story and would love to know what i would need to fix up/ change. I'll start out with a couple of paragraphs, try not to hate on me to much, please.

[whitexsuicide]

Sunny Day

The air stung Emily's face as it breezed through the window of the green van her mother loved to drive. It was her sixteenth birthday and she had to go to her grandmother's house. She didn't much like visiting her grandmother, for her grandmother seemed to be losing her mind. She could tell today was going to be even worse then usual for today was her sixteenth birthday and all her grandmother talked about was how Emily would have to be ready for some great journey on this day. But her mother never listened to Emily, so her mother decided that it would be a great idea to have her party at her grandmother's house.

Emily watched the trees pass by as they neared her house. Only her grandmother would want to live out in forest. Emily found it to be unpleasing, and boring. Watching those unpleasing trees, her mind started to wonder off, thinking of how she will start getting more responsibilities. How she would be moving out some day and be on her own, leaving her family behind.

The van stopped and Emily's mother turned around to tell her daughter that they had arrived at her mother's house. Emily sighed, but got out of the car. It was a bright sunny day with out a single cloud in the sky, which made Emily's long golden blond hair sparkle in the light and her green eyes glow. Her hair was pulled back to match a simple outfit of light blue jeans and a tan tank top, that almost matched her skin color. She kicked the dusty drive way with her blue flip flops and felt the dirt go in between her toes. It reminded her of the beach and how much she would rather be there then her grandmother's place.

I am scared to put up my story, so please be nice and not stealing my words, please.