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Coda Coda is offline
Developer
Default   #2241  
I have an unhealthy relationship with sleep.

I know I need to get enough sleep in order to function properly. I know that if I don't get enough, I'm irritable and lose mental clarity.

I also know that I don't have a choice on what time I get up in the morning. I have to drive my son to school; there's no getting around that. And on the weekends, my cats know exactly how to wake me up to get me to feed them.

And I also know that I have a lot of responsibilities that I need to keep up with. I've got to be a parent, a husband, and an employee, and I also need to take care of myself.

I'm loaded up to the point where disruptions cause a real problem. It's fine as long as things go smoothly, but if I have a bad ADHD day, or if something breaks, or if there's extra stuff that comes up that I need to take care of, I run out of time in the day. And the first thing that gets sacrificed to balance it out is self-care.

But if I stay up late to get stuff done, that contributes to my fatigue. That means I'm more likely to struggle to get things done, which puts me farther behind, which makes me feel like I need to put even more time into catching up on things... which makes me stay up late, which makes me more fatigued...
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 09-20-2022, 10:15 AM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2242   Jester Jester is offline
Psych
~So the same guy who killed my dinos came back for round II. It's like PVE means nothing to people. Killed III and ran off like a dam coward.

I also hate the place I'm at. It rained here today and normally I'd be happy because I like watching the rain but it just reminded me of the plants my roommate killed. Actually uprooted my plants because he felt like it. He also stole my pots and my seeds. Guy owes me over $1K and he acts like he doesn't owe me a cent. Oh and police here are basically cardboard cutouts. I saw some cooking vid and they just made me even more miserable. I miss cooking. I miss experimenting with a lot of things. I can't do that anymore because roommate stole my cooking stuff. It's just so painful seeing everyone else being able to do this and that and I'm basically living in jail. It's like daily I'm loosing more and more hope. I mean I still don't have a job, maybe temp next month but if not. Sometimes it just feels like the streets would be better.~
Last edited by Jester; 09-21-2022 at 12:57 AM.
Old Posted 09-21-2022, 12:46 AM Reply With Quote  
Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is online now
Pixelist
Default   #2243  
i got back into rick and morty, and a guy that's still stalking me liked one of my posts on tumblr about neuroscience.

i wrote some fucking funny rhymes about it but in them i literally admit to still watching rick and morty. you cannot be cringier than me. not allowed.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 09-21-2022, 03:49 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2244   Dalhanahue Dalhanahue is offline
Blue Fish
My brain is done for today. So very tired of having to apologize for other people and make excuses and clean up other peoples messes, meanwhile others seem to have no interest in picking up slack when it's needed. Very discouraging and frustrating.

I have so much to do between now and Friday but all I really want to do is hide in a cave and take a nap.
Old Posted 09-21-2022, 05:17 PM Reply With Quote  
Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is online now
Pixelist
Default   #2245  
had a fly on my lip while i was drinking soda, i'm currently hungry, and i'm too scared to go get something to eat in case that fly comes back. it's disgusting that i have to live with this shit tbh.

eugh.

god damn. i ended up pouring the rest of my drink down the sink and i hate it bc it's essentially wasted thanks to one fuckin fly.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 09-21-2022, 09:23 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2246   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is online now
Pixelist
for the love of fuckin god, why the hell are you apologizing to me. go apologize (or try to) apologize to the guy that you effectively retraumatized with your behaviour and actions, dammit.

...is nice to be acknowledged, though. not sure if i want to permanently make sure the zone isn't good for bridges. ugh.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 09-24-2022, 04:50 PM Reply With Quote  
Kaderin Triste Kaderin Triste is offline
Truthwatcher
Default   #2247  
Staff meeting with the boss this morning is resulting in massive anxiety even though the absolute worst case scenario is a minimum of 8 months away. xP
Anxiety is also not helped by the fact that my rent, which in Nov will have gone up by over $250 in approx 14 months will probably be raised by another nearly $150 in the next year or so. Ugh.
Old Posted 09-28-2022, 02:07 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2248   Jester Jester is offline
Psych
~Even if it was my brother's birthday yesterday this week has been hell. First everything goes wrong and I wind up loosing something important to me through no fault of my own. Then I made the mistake of actually meeting with my brother. It wasn't him so much as it was my family. Well my cousin was good at least. Then my controller breaks. I get ready to do something been getting ready all day and it breaks. That's a source of possible income down the drain. It's not like I'm going to get anything stable. Next year it's just going to be the same thing. ~

Anyone want my stuff?
Old Posted 09-28-2022, 04:14 PM Reply With Quote  
Monokai Monokai is offline
Zombie Platypus
Angry OMG WHY?!   #2249  
I just procrastinated the day away today!
Old Posted 10-14-2022, 05:15 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2250   Coda Coda is offline
Developer
My grandfather slipped into nonresponsiveness a couple days ago. He's showing signs of multiple organ failure, if I understand what my mom said.

My family has had to make the decision to discontinue any care except to keep him comfortable. He's probably going to pass away in the next couple of days.

He's been dealing with progressive dementia for the last few years. The last time I saw him, at my cousin's wedding, he barely knew who I was. Since then, his condition has declined dramatically. Even before he stopped responding, there wasn't anything left of his personality. He had become reactionary and violent, responding to anything that caused even the slightest stress with aggression... including his own wife trying to help him with his clothes when he couldn't undress by himself to use the restroom.

My family are all taking this with very level heads. In a way, my grandpa has been dead for a long time, and his body has just been walking around without him. So while I'm sad, I'm also at peace. This isn't hitting nearly as hard as when my other grandpa passed away, because I've had time to prepare.
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 10-25-2022, 06:05 PM Reply With Quote  
8Nephila8 8Nephila8 is offline
THIS. IS. SPAR -shot- ... *gurgle*
Default   #2251  
I'm sorry to hear that. My grandpa was the same way at the end. It's heart breaking to watch a person wither like that.

Makes the computer problems I was about to bitch about seem a lot less important.
Old Posted 10-25-2022, 08:18 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2252   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is online now
Pixelist
my condolences, coda.

neph, maybe you could try shout into the void? i'm decently good with computers and can probably help troubleshoot.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 10-26-2022, 11:16 AM Reply With Quote  
Jester Jester is offline
Psych
Default   #2253  
~I don't know where to start. This isn't worth it anymore. It just isn't. I've been pushed past my limit again and again and again and again. I can't take it anymore. I be careful, try to be very careful and I still get sick. Shots do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wouldn't call struggling to breathe mild. I finally get better and my abusive roommate gets me sick again. Doesn't matter how careful I try to be. Told roommate I was sick and he was being stupid too. I've already had pain in my chest 7 times this year because of hi. I can't. I can't.~

Anyone want my stuff?
Old Posted 10-30-2022, 07:30 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2254   mdom mdom is offline
Jellosexual
tw - animal death

Old Posted 10-31-2022, 05:14 PM Reply With Quote  
Coda Coda is offline
Developer
Default   #2255  
My grandfather passed this afternoon.
Games by Coda (updated 10/1/2023 - New game: Adrift)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator)

Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Old Posted 10-31-2022, 08:23 PM Reply With Quote  
Default   #2256   Stabbsworth Stabbsworth is online now
Pixelist
damn.

apologies, long angry rant incoming.



that was less long than i thought, but it's still a lot of all-caps.
percival is busy being queer as hell. he was also here.
somewhat busy working for trisphee.

a reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.
Old Posted 10-31-2022, 09:04 PM Reply With Quote  
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