[Funkduder]

Bilbo gets up and stands on a chair under the big tree. His right hand is in his pocket.

Bilbo: My dear Bagginses and Boffins...

Hobbits cheer.

Bilbo: Tooks and Brandybucks...

More cheering. Merry stands up and bows to the crowd, which provokes laughter.

Bilbo: Grubbs, Chubbs, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies...

Cheering.

Bilbo: And Proudfoots!

Proudfoot: Proudfeet!

Hobbit laugh.

Bilbo: Proudfoots(beat) Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!

The hobbits cheer.

Bilbo: I hope you are all enjoyingyourselves as much as I am.

More cheers. Some of the hobbits think Bilbo is done, and start playing instruments. Pippin gets up on the table and starts dancing. Someone shouts "Get down you fool of a Took!"

Bilbo grabs a nearby horn and blows into it. The noise subsides.

Bilbo: I shall not keep you long.

Cheering.

Bilbo: I have called you all together for a purpose.

The hobbits quiet down.

Bilbo: First of all, eleventy-one years is far too short to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits.

Loud cheering.

Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Confused looks from the hobbits.

Bilbo: Also, today is the day my nephew Frodo comes into his inheritance.

Cheering. Lobelia and Otho scowl.

Otho: Comes into his inheritance. Indeed!

Bilbo: Finally, I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT.

All the hobbits sit up straight, listening to him.

Bilbo: I regret to announce that this is the end. I am leaving NOW.

Frodo looks slighly troubled.

Bilbo: Good-Bye!

Bilbo suddenly vanishes. All of the Hobbits are stunned into silence. Then they suddenly all start talking at once.

[Funkduder]

Current Staff

Head Host / Owner: Funkduder

"Turn down the fire...turn down the bed...turn down the voice withing my head"

ALERT TO THOSE IN STAFF: You may keep your jobs. You will not lose your job nor will you be obligated to leave your job if you wish for a title. However, upon leaving your job there is no going back unless by entitlement. That is all.

Bouncers:
Demo
Reyoki
littl3chocobo
Ashy

Bartenders:
Lunaryon
Saith
Espy

Hosts/Hostesses:
Neirra
Lauv Keiko
Ginger
Asami
Spirit of the Party

DJs:
Neirra aka "DJ Nei Nei"

Espy aka "DJ ARASHI"

Entertainers:
Lioshika (Lio Chic, Exotic Dancer)
Spirit of the Party (Former Oracle of Delphi, Exotic Interpretive Dancer)
Yume (Y-Me, Pop Star)

Zen Master: Asche ("intern")

[Funkduder]

:)White List:)

These people have shown actions that have given them favor with the club. We are in your debt.
Poggio who drew the banner in the first post.
Espy/Ashy who got the banner in the second post
Ashy who is so awesome she needs to be mentioned twice

:mad:Black List:mad:

The bouncers will be on the lookout for these guys.
Fleas because they harass the bartender.
littl3chocobo because of chocobo-like tendency. (Note: littl3chocobo is also a bouncer. Self regulation is recommended)

Asche for extreme property damage and other evils done to the enterprise.
Ashy for attempted pirating.
Alpha for threatening an employee at sword-point. XD

[Funkduder]

This will be the last event. Volunteers welcomed until September 10th
PAST EVENTS

NEW EVENTS !!!

The Funk Enterprise can now fly. It is a flying docking area for pilots of all types to relax and refuel their vanships.

What is a van ship? Well....

That's a vanship design

That's a type of vanship.

There are of course more, but for now the enterprise looks different and we are hiring pilots and mechanics, although the system handles mechanics so the real hiring is mostly for pirates.

In Honor of the End

Upon the official end of the Quesarian Civil War, the Funk Enterprise (with paid debts as well as freedom from the tyrannous queen) Briefly celebrated Nox Nocturnalis as well as the 5th of November in honor of the gunpowder treason (and V for Vendetta).

Now we move on to a different type of celebration, one that can only be done after we mourn they who died for this party: the celebration of peace, the formal party to honor the end the Quesarian Fight for Freedom. Come forth in any formal where so that we may share happiness with wine, champagne and exquisite dishes from the three planets.

Fashion Show

Originally Posted by Funkduder

As of this moment (10:00PM PST on August 28, 2011) I am opening a new contest.

With 5000 aurum to spare, I announce the start of a 2 prize fashion show with the theme (inspired by Reyoki): "Bald is Beautiful"
There will be one 2.5K award for the best outfit in Common Clothing.
There will also be one 2.5K prize for the best outfit (with no restrictions on clothing).
The obvious requirement is that your avatar cannot have any hair (extensions are debatable but your more likely to win if you just pretend that the rule is "no hair. period.").
Have fun. Any questions should be PMed to me as well as your entries.

The Due Date to enter this contest is 9/11/2011. Note that the due date to submit the actual avatar is beyond this date, but you must inform me that you are entering before this date.

Please note that the contest, Bald is Beautiful, will be extended one week due to the small numbers of entries. After which, the contest will close and the prizes will be given out to the winners. Thank you for your patience and participation.

Contestants:
Commons Only:
Ashy

Serra Brit

Reyoki

Espy

No Restriction:
Ashy

Serra Brit

Reyoki

Espy

Originally Posted by Funkduder

After consulting with Poggio and Ludovico (who are the same person, FYI. ;}), I am pleased to announce that we have two winners.

The first winner, of the no limit contest, is Reyoki!

The second winner, of the epically heated commons only contest, is Espy!

Thank you all for participating, and don't forget to be awesome. ;)

Masquarade

Originally Posted by Funkduder

So now to make things more interesting, I'm making a masquarade for this place. From now until the end of the May, there will costumes made with masks. The best ones submitted (Drawn or made using an Avi) will recieve one free Aurum Monthly. The judge will be me, alone, becuase I would like everyone to participate (even staff). And likewise, there is no "placing", but only special honor (which means a free Aurum Monthly).

Please submit as you can. And have fun with it.

Also...

Originally Posted by Funkduder

You can place in as many peices as you like, but you can only get up to two free monthlies and they will be annouced just before the end of May.

[Funkduder]

Reserved for the History...

It was though the doors to the enterprise have fallen away as the building's walls began to fade away, along with the ceiling, leaving you mystified as you enter what looks to be the shire. It's day time and many small folk work to build tents, tables, and bake cakes. Everyone in the shire was invited...

"So you're going to go through with it, then," Gandalf the Wizard said
slowly.
"I am," I replied. "I've been planning this for a long time.
It'll give the Hobbits of the Shire something to talk about for the next
nine days - or ninety-nine, more likely. Anyway, at least I'll have my
little joke."
"Who will laugh, I wonder?" Gandalf mused aloud, scratching his
beard idly.

For weeks carts and caravans were coming from all over Middle-earth
to bring provisions for the Grand Old Party, as I referred to it.
Wagons of food from the Dwarvish mines at Erebor, shiny rocks from the
Sea-elves and fancy seductive packages from southern Mirkwood arrived
daily, making the neighborhood generally more crowded and cluttering up
avenues. Even those who hadn't said anything bad about me before were
starting to show their annoyance. "That man is starting to get a
mite annoying," old Gaffer Gamgee grumbled, standing outside the pub.
"Queer goings-on, and no mistake. Why just yesterday a bunch o' pesky
Wood-elves dragged their cart right acrost my yard and ruined my taters!"
"A bunch of Men from Bree came to my place yesterday and tried to
sell me some aluminum siding," mused Old Noakes of Bywater. "They said it
was because they had extra after building that horrible Quonset hut over
the Party Tree, and they were trying to unload it. Strange folk
hereabouts."
"Yes, but it's good for the economy," sneered Bill Ferny, the local
banker. "A lot more money in circulation. Market's been doing well.
Unionization is down because of all the entry-level service positions
that are being created. Widening gap between the haves and have-nots,
don't you think? Good to find work for idle hands."
"And you don't know nothin' about anythin', Ferny," Gaffer Gamgee
snapped, echoing the popular community sentiment. "Mr. Bilbo Baggins is a
right bastard, as I've often said, and it's small wonder if trouble don't
come of him and his imperialist ways. The Revolution's a'comin', and it's
the likes o'you who'll be the first ag'inst the wall, so sayeth the
Lord." And with that he spat a well-aimed beer-nut into Ferny's glass.

[Funkduder]

Hello to you who reads this,

I've been thinking about this moment for a very long time now, but it appears that my time has come and gone like the wind here. i don't feel necessarily attached to this place like I used to and i am growing into a new age in which I must pioneer into alone. For those of you who have gotten to know me over time, I thank you. At times it was you who prevented me from believing in suicidal thoughts. You are a true blessing, but now i must leave, possibly to never return the same.

I had hoped that you would realize what I was planning before I set this turn of events into motion so I shall give time now. as the title of the thread goes, this thread should be closed by tomorrow. Please voice your objections to my departure now, as there will not be another chance no matter how fair or unfair it seems.

[Funkduder]

Open For Business

[Batty]

.☆.+:＾ヽ(∇＾*)ｏ【<3】ｏ(*＾∇）ノ^;+.☆.

ITS OPEN! HURRAY!!!

[Funkduder]

HAI!!! Wassup Batty; how ya doing?

[Batty]

I'm doin good!!

Zane and I are gonna start listing crap to sell on ebay. xD;

We're doing a Summer cleaning kind of thing.
How about you?

[littl3chocobo]

whut?! i am epic sause i should totally be in the black list!

[Funkduder]

I'm heading to a lake tomorrow and at that lake there will be a party...So yeah. Nothing big. :) ANyways, What I think this place needs is some music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pKDsdzODv0

[Poggio]

-Sneaks past the bouncers and grabs Battys waist for a dance-
Woot Woot
XD interesting song Funk.

[Funkduder]

<.<...>.>...^.^...V.V...I don't think any of the bouncers are actually here...XD

[Lunaryon]

I wanna be a bartender!

[Funkduder]

@Luna......sure ^.^
@Birdy you are epic but you are not sauce; you are a bird and epic suace isn't on the black list anyways.