[Death by Mirrors]

No worries ^^ hope that disgusting medicine works at least; get well soon! Right now it's more important you feel better, art requests will still be there later.

[Merskelly Metalien]

<:} Aww, this fish thanks you. *coughs dried up gills out* >~<; ughh..
Honestly I went to urgent care today because being sick this long is ridiculous. >n< They got me taking some more potent cough management pills, and some antibiotics to help with the minor infection in my throat. This damn tickle won't go away though. ;n;

I've tried water, *shakes water bottle*
I've tried tea, *tosses tea mug*
I've tried gross syrup, *kicks robatussin out window*
I've tried showering to loosen up my airways, ;~; *smh under a showerhead*
Only things that seem to work best are cough drops, and sleep. I'll have to see where this new medication goes, but hopefully it helps me recover faster. ;n;
I wanna get back to drawing without feeling like I gotta cough every other second, and blow my nose every minute. I'm just glad the worst is over though, that fever was horrible. >~>; Thought I was melting into a shivering puddle of muck..

I'll get better eventually. ^~^; I always do. O-O unless I die....which is a .0000000000001% possibility. <x} eyhuuh..*cough cough* ;n; I miss not being sick..

[Espy]

Rest, Robitussin, tea (piping hot tea; hold it under your face for a bit to get that steam).

Meds, regular meals. Gotta keep your energy up.

[Merskelly Metalien]

e-e? *tries the tea-steam breathing* <xo auhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks. That feels better..
Yes, I could use some natural energy, since I've been sleeping less and less. >~>; I woke up early morning...coughing on and off..and had a weird dream that I was infiltrating a vampire coven undercover to observe and research, participate and spectate, and the queen vampire was really sweet and looked like a younger version of my older cousin...it was weiiirdd..>.>;

[Espy]

Fever dreams are weird like that. Or, well, sickness dreams.

Ever since a couple years back, I seem to have lost most of my ability to retain dreams after I wake up. A frustration of no small size.

[Kaderin Triste]

Haha...I also have pretty much zero ability to retain dreams. Sometimes during the day I'll get a little flash of almost, but not quite remembering part of a dream because something irl triggered it, but then it fades away again so quickly.

On extremely rare occasion I can recall little snippets of dreams, and they generally are pretty bizarre.
XD

[Merskelly Metalien]

I have the same problem! x} So to remember I dream I really liked or thought was interesting, I make sure to immediately play it over and over in my head until I can write it down somewhere within the hour of waking up. I can only seem to remember it if I write it down really, at least the basic premise. :} *cough!* once I read that, I can remember the details of the dream.
And yeah, x'D They are pretty pretty weird!
I used to draw my dreams a lot when I was younger too. :} Some were long, and others were disturbing, but all of them were weird. x'}

[Espy]

Most of my dreams can get pretty disturbing. I dreamed about guns a lot as a kid/teenage. Was pretty odd, considering I absolutely hated shooter games until college.

Some of the stuff I remember (with content warnings for like... violence, death, suicide, all that fun jazz):

- Earliest dream I can remember involved saving cats from a factory that exploded into lava, and then I got trapped in a stairwell by the flames.

- Couple of dreams involving... being chased in an unlit corporate building. Person chasing me had a gun. Or had my parents as hostages.

- Another early-ish dream had me as a kid waiting to be picked up after school, and this guy jumps out of a car and starts shooting at me. I ran across a bridge, and... I think I might have died in that dream

- One of my most disturbing ones was me sitting in the room I kind of grew up in (at least for around a year) and cleaning an old-school pistol, then for some reason, put the pistol to my head, almost on a whim, and pulled the trigger. This one's gotten more and more disturbing over the years, especially after my depression diagnosis.

- There was one where... I'm not sure what I must have done, but apparently I got locked up for... a while. And when I got out, I was still more or less a kid, and everyone I knew shunned me and I found notes and articles and things saying I was a murderer. This dream was pretty crippling for younger Espy.

- There was at least one dream where I was running from assailants and for some reason had involved my twin, and I was the reasons she died. (I did have a twin IRL. She died when we were a month old.)

- There were a couple less disturbing firearms dreams that were a combination of zombies, LARPing, and me being a badass sniper.

- There was this one time a few years back (a few months before my depression diagnosis) where I took a nap and got trapped in seemingly never-ending false awakenings. I counted at least twenty. I was scared I'd never wake up.

- There are a LOT more guilt-tripping dreams, and I can't remember right now, nor can I be assed to remember. Maybe I will, later. At some point.

EDIT: Ah, yes, the dream that I was talking to a friend about today, also content warning for basically the same things as above:

This one happened several weeks ago. So, my biggest fear isn't dying. That comes pretty close, but mostly because I don't want to... cease existing, and cease doing things. My actual biggest fear, though, is... hm. How do I put this...

Losing the things that make me, me. Personality, memories. Brain processes. Empathy. Control over my own actions; being forced to do things that I normally wouldn't do.

So, of course, I had a dream where I was locked in... a stall? And my mom was working with scientists and they were planning an experiment that would get rid of... I guess, undesirable parts of my personality. I've stuffed this dream in the far corner of my mind for so long that I can no longer remember exactly what it was that they were trying to do.

And in the dream, I knew the clock was ticking and I just... couldn't let that happen to me. I'd rather cease to exist than to go through life being... not me. So I somehow broke out of the lab and had to sneak through the hotel that was acting as the front, trying to not draw attention from hotel guests all while evading the guards that were trying to capture me.

...Anyways. Yeah. That dream fucked me up for a couple weeks.

[Derpy McBlueEyes]

Derpy waddles in. "I don't have dweams at all..." he says, pouting.

[Merskelly Metalien]

Aww, :c it's okay Derpy. That just means that you have plenty of nice things during the day to look at so you don't have to see them when you're sleeping. ^-^ Besides, some dreams can be scaaryy. <8{ and then you don't get a nice sleepytime. :[

I have never had the desire to become a robot grow more strongly than it does now. ;u; I'm kind of all better now. Cold is gone. Cough is dying out but lingering...but it turns out my left side of my ribcage is in very big pain. >~<; So much pain that I've been prescribed anti-inflammatory medicine. Doc thinks my rib muscles are torn from my coughing during the previous week. ;n; so...I have to sit up and sleep on my back for a while. My period coming right afterwards is just the icing on the cake. ;-; Why is the body so gross and awful? ;~; I'd like to be a robot please and not have to have this nonsense again. Uahhh..it hurts to sneeze, cough or bend the wrong way, so I've been trying not to do that. >~>;
I swear, I'll get to that request! <8{ This has just not been my month. Q-Q Which is a shame because I spent my birthday with a nasty cold at home..
I should be okay within a couple more days. If the medicine does it's job. I haven't been back online for what feels like a really long time... >.>

[Merskelly Metalien]

Okay DbM! I'm working on your request now. I finally could get to it yess! <x{ Sorry it's been so long. If I stay ontop of things, it should be done in about 3 days or so. :o But I'll keep ya posted on this thread. <:/ So far...eeeueeeeeeeehhhh <x{ I'm strugglin' with the stylllee it's weird lookin' so I'll likely start over aggainnn. I'll try something simpler. I'm sorry. I'm trying to make it look good. <~<;

[Espy]

Would you be interested in another commish after you’re done? Don’t want to burden you too much.

[Merskelly Metalien]

I think so. :[ *shrug* don't see why not. I might need some time to get to the request, as, >.>; uh, well, I'll likely be a bit busy with other things including *cough* "graduation". But I think I can manage. I'm mostly all better now. <x) It's most likely my period draining me after it's over. =~=; I swear, they're so unnecessary and inconvenient. *flops over like a sad pancake*

[Espy]

No worries. Whenever you have time. (You drew CRT so I’d be interested in having Raster as well.)

[Merskelly Metalien]

Raster...ewe ehehehe,
I don't know why my mind un-combined the words Rooster and Blaster.
Rasterrr… >u> I take it he's the harbinger of low-battery in all devices over there.

[Espy]

Yeah. Kind of CRT’s rival.