[Hermes]

Hello, Hello, welcome~ This is the Hermes Delivery Service, bringing you the fastest(and only) Non-pm mail service on all of Trisphee!

Here, you can purchase small notes and letters to be delivered to that special someone, or just to a random person, or even just to yourself.

Ordering is very simple, simply post what it is you would like, and make your post noticeable by making some kind of strange mortal offering to me, Hermes.

All orders are written by ME, and me alone. If you have a specific request, tell me so in your post to order, and I may or may not pm you about it.

If you would like to select a random user for your message, that option is available, for an extra 50 aurums. I will go out in search of one who would seem most improbable to receive, and send it, without telling them who it is from. The secrecy shall tantalize them into finding you, which is good for business~

Also, I DO offer my services for Secret Santa stuff. If you want to give a gift anonymously, and trust me for it, I will gladly do it, just pm me about it~

~ Table of Contents ~
1. Introduction
2. Rules
3. Styles and Prices
4. Current Orders
5. White/Black Lists

[Hermes]

RULES!

Everyone needs rules, right? Well, here are just a few:
1. ToS, obviously
2. No stealing! If you steal from me, I have the right to do things so horrible that the last time it happened Satan wet himself, both in fear and laughter D<
3. I love you all <3
4. I reserve the right to deny service to anyone/everyone I choose. If you need a reason why? Get behind me, sit down, and tell it to my ass XD
5. That last rule was for kicks. I'm not a jerk x3
6. I like courteous people. I don't like rude people. Huh.
7. My prices are my prices. I do a SMALL amount of haggling, but not a lot.
8. I reserve the right to add/remove rules as I see fit.
9. Fenris gets free shit because I've watched her work her ass of for the last however many months.
10. I reserve the right to give other people free shit too.

[Hermes]

~Styles and Prices~

Poetry

Limericks:

I am a courier of the gods
Who as lovers are usually frauds
They'll take you today
Then they will throw you away
And none shall pay heed to your sobs

~Limericks cost either 5 runes or 750 aurums~

Haiku:

The goblin ran far
To carry his guilt abroad
Then tripped on a rock

~Haiku is either 1 rune or 125 Aurums~

Sonnet:

I've seen a hasty goblin run too fast
and holding a rock that was too heavy
Of course, this rock would be the very last
That he would have the pleasure to carry

He tripped on a branch that was far too long
Then he fell down onto the hard dirt floor
He had started singing a joyous song
But now our little goblin sings no more

You really shouldn't run with rocks, at all
Especially when your brain is so small

~Sonnet is either 2500 aurums or 15 runes~

Freeform: No real example of this. PM me about these, guys.

Short story: Same as above

Special order: Ditto



All prices are BASE prices! I may charge more depending on how complicated it gets!

[Hermes]

~ ORDERS ~

Slots -
1 - Duchess 21 Limericks
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -
6 -
7 -
8 -


~ IN PROGRESS ~

NONE YET!


~ Pick up ~

Also, none yet!

[Hermes]

~ White List - I are can haz? :3 ~

Duchess - First customer ever!

~ Black List - I is ashame! D< ~

NOT WANT!

[Hermes]

May your wings ever take flight, your breath always come and go easy, and may this shop remain profitable and helpful~ We are indeed open for business~!

[Anurah Loveheart]

so you are selling your poetry? and sending it to people over pm for aurum? im lost xD

[Letiel]

That is precisely what he's doing.

If I remember correctly Hermes never finished a sonnet for me from like several months ago.
I can't think of anyone I would want to send to... I'm not big on sending notes considering my bad experiences.
Are we allowed to just donate money to the cause?

[Hermes]

Basically, the idea is:
Person A: I want to give someone something nice, something written, something creative but...I just don't know what to say ;A;
Me: I have your solution~ Pay me to write it FOR YOU, and then either I or you can send it~ Just make sure I get partial credit for it, and pay me a small fee~
Person A: *does so*
Person B: Oh, yay, thank you! *comes to shop, pms me* I need you to tell him I'm eloping with his brother. But, hey, your poem at least made me stop and think first x3
Me: ...Ouch D= Well, normal payment, plus a tax for specialty stuff. Thanks~
Person B: Kk~ *does*
Person A: *receives, is sad forever, except for about one thing, purchasing some of Hermes' poetry and paying for delivery*




It is prefferred to let me have my fun and deliver it XD I'm Trisphee's mailman/hallmark~


@ Letiel - I finished it, just never got it to you D= I'll get it some time this week and give it to ya. It's different from what it was going to be XD

[Anurah Loveheart]

Ohh I gets it. but if i write something to someone I would want it to be from my heart <3

[Letiel]

So we can't just donate au?

[Hermes]

@ Anurah - I would still be glad to do Anonymous Delivery, which is free, or a Special Delivery, which will drag ya about 50 Aurums XD

@ Letiel - Hm?

[Letiel]

Never mind

[Hermes]

Oh, ok then...

[Panda]

What if those people read this thread? I'm sure they will figure out who send them the note. Sorry, random moment.

[Hermes]

That's why, if you want it a secret, you make it a pm XD