[Moonshadow]

I just leave when I am not happy in a relationship, because I know cheating makes me feel so badly about myself. It feels like I have let myself down and its not worth that feeling for me.

[McSwiggins]

It doesnt make me feel bad about myself. It does make me feel kind of guilty if my so cries. Thats about it. I have a hard time with feelings. I domt feel them like normal people do. The only thing that comes easily is anger and lust.

[Moonshadow]

I feel the feelings of others, I'm quite empathetic, so I feel badly about what I might have done, then I feel badly because they feel badly. I have worked really hard to have healthy emotions, and I have made great strides in that regard.

[McSwiggins]

Thats great that you are doing well emotionally.
I have a lot of work to do in that regards. I hope some day I can feel normal emotions like a normal person.

[Moonshadow]

I have used Buddhist tenets to help me deal with my emotions. I found the book, Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh a very good start in my quest for mindfulness.

[McSwiggins]

A have a book by Thich Nhat Hanh on the basics of Buddhism. That sounds like a book I could really use. Thats basically the only thing I feel. If something funny happens or I have a nice moment with the kids, or feel sexual desire for woman, those are the only times I feel something else. Those feelings only last for probably 15, 20 minutes, except the sexual desire, which will last until I do something about it.
It kind of sucks always being angry.

[Moonshadow]

My father was a very angry man It was hard living with him, because he would explode for any and every reason. Not to be all Psychology 101 but everything I have ever read says that anger is actually fear, frustration, pain. That is how I dealt with mine. But any book by Thich Nhat Hanh would be helpful.

[McSwiggins]

Well, I have a lot of pain and frustration from the past. I dont fear much though unless I dont take my schizophrenia meds, then I'm paranoid and afraid of almost everything.
I bet its hard for my kids to live with me as well for that reason. I explode alot and even if its not at them, I imagine that it bothers them just as much.

I'll have to dig out that book by him. I have 5 or 6 different places in the house where I keep books, so it might take me a bit to find it.

[Moonshadow]

I really recommend his books, and I totally recommend Buddhism tenets in order to be mindful (which just means to live in the moment, no thoughts of past or future, just being present) There is also a book that helped me with that called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

[McSwiggins]

I know what mindfulness is. I've studied Buddhism plus was forced to do dumb ass DBT 4 times that did absolutely nothing but aggravate me.
I'll check that out.

[Moonshadow]

I hope you can get all that sorted out.
You deserve to have a happy life <3

[McSwiggins]

Thanks. Sorry, I dont mean to come off grouchy. I'm not.

How are you doing?

[Moonshadow]

Its okay, sometimes I tend to drone on and assume people don't know what I know. It comes from a place of helping, not a place of judgment.

I do not have a migraine tonight so I am happy! Last night I had one and did not sleep well. I find heat helps to calm my migraines down.

[McSwiggins]

Its okay, I knew it was for helping purposes, not that you were being judgmental.

Yay! Thats interesting that the heat calms your migranes. I get migranes galore in the summer due to heat.

Sorry for such late reply. McPreggers had a craving,

[Moonshadow]

I know everyone is so shocked that moist heat helps my migraines!
It took a longtime to get them under control because heat was the only thing NOT recommended!

McPreggers' cravings must be attended to first!!! hahaha

[daikokunyo]

Heyo, I just noticed the Hindi in your signature :o