[Kory]

I asked a friend of mine online today,
We were talking about Middle Eastern foods and customs, so I asked, "Are you Middle Eastern?"
And he got.... offended??? He was like, "I think you are stereotyping me"..?

I mean, he has every right to feel how he does...
But it wasn't like this was random? We were talking about Middle Eastern food and customs and he seemed to know a lot about both. Hence, why I asked. I wanted to learn about him through his culture.
And he said, "I don't care about a person's background. I only care about the person".

It's valid for him to feel how he does,
But.. I'm a black woman, myself. I understand how it sucks to be stereotyped,
But I am not at all offended when someone wants to learn about met through my culture. You know?
I almost took offense to him taking offense to being upset about being asked if he was Middle Eastern because the reaction I got from him made it seem like it was a *bad* thing...

Not a bad thing to ask, but rather, assuming that I asked because of ill intentions, or if he WAS Middle Eastern, that that was a bad thing in and of itself, you know?

I'm so used and desensitized to people asking me, "What are you?" "Are you mixed?" "What are you mixed with?" And I always take pride in sharing my culture with other people now. I guess my perspective on people asking me about my heritage is more in a way of, "I want to get to know you better, please share your childhood and background with me" rather than a "I don't care about you, only your heritage" (Which, I HAVE also experienced and it does suck.)

Sorry for my little rant.
I just feel like it shouldn't have to be that a person is either themselves or their culture. Why can we not be both in this world? Having a heritage and a culture you are proud of doesn't make you less of a person than someone who has other things that they feel defines them.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I think the "you're stereotyping me"...? I don't think that's a fair reason to make someone feel bad about asking about another person's culture. A simple, "No. I'm not middle eastern" would have been just fine.

Or even, "I appreciate you trying to get to know me, but I don't really talk about my background" or... anything like that? You know? We ALL have a culture, we all have a background and heritage... and I guess it gets to me because I spent almost all of my early teens trying to run from my heritage. I'm a mixed girl with brown skin, and it's painfully obvious to everyone that I am not just another white girl or black girl, for that matter... I will NEVER belong in those groups, I will always be an outlier. I used to get so angry when white people would call me their "black friend", and I used to get equally as upset when black people made it clear I was "white girl" to them. Having Latinx background also threw a wrench in the machine, when I got a little older, I realized that Spanish wasn't a language most people spoke at home ,so I did everything I could to avoid being associated with it, my parents and family tried hard to teach me , and NGL, I used to be nearly fluent, or at least, fluent enough that I could do basic things while speaking Spanish... but the shame made me run from it, when we got the choice to learn French vs. Spanish in school, I was like "French is classy." so I chose that...

I think I'm also maybe jealous, because from his pictures, he could easily pass as a white man (If he isn't white) so for him, he can easily say "Yeah, I don't have any culture or background" and he would be accepted everywhere and anywhere, pretty much. I don't have that luxury of being able to slide into a room and have no one question my background, or have no one notice my skin color. I don't have that luxury of not being immediately judged based on how I look... You wouldn't believe the number of times I've met someone (all races) and immediately they say, "You don't look like you would sound like that!" I don't have that luxury of being able to avoid judgement until I speak. I am immediately judged as soon as someone sees me.

... This got much longer than I expected! O_O
Sorry!