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Kory Kory is offline
Double Rainbow
Default   #3403  
Okay... so...

I wasn't sure if I should make this its own topic,
But I don't want to seem dramatic..??

If anyone wants to, I can make it its own topic if anyone wanted to discuss anything that is similar that has happened to them also, OR anyone can feel free to DM me about this because I feel strongly about this sort of shit and I HATE that this happens!

**TRIGGER WARNING**
tw; abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, etc
Please take caution!

Okay so...
I recently joined a discord server for survivors of abuse and trauma. I was invited by a close friend who noticed I was struggling a lot with abuse at the hands of me on-off boyfriend and he found this server and suggested I try it out.

So, I did that. And things seemed to go pretty well. I felt like I finally found a place where I could talk about what happens/ed to me and I would get encouragement and no judgement for the choices I make/made. Right? Sounds great?

BUT. This random man decided to DM me (I have screenshots and proof of all this shit!) and he said something to the power of, "hey there, talk to me, tell me what's going on". I didn't know who he was, but I did a search and learned that he was from the survivors server. So I asked, "hello, are you from the survivors server?" and he was like, "yes, tell me what is going on, I'll listen". So I shared how I was feeling, yada yada...

***Bear in mind, this guy turned out to be AN ADMIN of this server!

So I told him how I was feeling, that I was feeling terrible because I felt like I can never find another man who would love me like my boyfriend. And this man said, "Show me a picture of yourself"... and me, was like, "um.. ??? what?" But I sent a selfie and he was like, "you're cute, you shouldn't have a problem finding a new man" !!!! WHAT?! And then I told him, "I don't feel unattractive, I feel this way because my boyfriend tells me that I won't find any man who would love me like he does." and this disgusting man said, "You should post your picture on twitter and you'll see how many men will flock to you!" WHAT. THE. FUCK!!!! That's NOT something you tell a woman who has been objectified and assaulted! Telling a girl who feels objectified that she will attract guys because she is pretty is doing the EXACT same shit that the assholes who hurt her have done?!?! HOW THE FUCK DID THIS GUY GET TO BE AN ADMIN OF AN ABUSE SUPPORT SERVER?!

So I told him, "I feel fine about my outer beauty. That's not the issue"...

So me, being the stupid and naive person I am, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I kept telling him about how my boyfriend makes me feel... and this man basically told me that I should move in with him because he and his "friends" would "protect" me. Like, I don't fucking know you, you asshat! How the fuck are you going to talk to a woman you've only just met and tell her that she should move across the goddamn country to live with you because you want to 'help' her??? SERIOUSLY!?!

So I declined, naturally.

I told him that I have family, but disowned my extended family because they are terrible people, and he says, "Oh, so you can disown your own family , but can't leave an abuser?" ... WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK!!! How fucking condescending! And insensitive AS FUCK! It's so clear that this man has never been in an abusive or even a really healthy loving relationship.... or maybe he doesn't understand that family can be shitty. I don't know what he is thinking, but even to say something like that is stupid!

And then a few days later... he starts telling me that I am ruining my boyfriend's life by allowing him to abuse me. He says that I am making my boyfriend hate himself. That if I "really loved him" that I would force him to get help, or I would find him another girl...? That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and I lost my shit! I told him, like I told him before, I DON'T NEED A HERO. I DON'T NEED A SAVIOR!

So I complained about this on another server, this one actually has staff and mods that care about their members... Turns out, one person in the good server was actually a mod in the shitty one. So I told them what happened and they were immediately like, "oh no, that's horrible, am so sorry this happened! Please tell me who said these things to you" So I sent them my screen shots (Which I am willing to share with anyone else who might want to see) and they replied after seeing my screenshots and said...

"Oh... yeah. This guy was just trying to be helpful and nice. He can come off as an asshole sometimes, but thats just who he is"

It's obvious that this poor mod can't do anything about the situation because they are just a mod, and this creep is an admin. He should NOT be an admin if he feels like he can give unsolicited advice to women who NEVER asked for it. And the mod was like, "he was just trying to help", "he's not wrong in saying your bf needs help"

That's NOT the issue. The issue is that I DID NOT ask him for his opinion, I DID NOT ask him for his judgement. He took it upon his own self to go into my DMs, calling me "love" and "hun" and then having the GALL to tell me that I should move in with him because he'll "protect" me. This is all sorts of FUCKED UP and this shit needs to stop!!

He's an admin, so he's the boss, I get it. But I hope to X'hal that this doesn't happen to any other impressionable and desperate victims. He feels like a predator to me. He has the mods all quiet because he's an admin, and everyone excuses that behavior. It's so obvious that he has never been in an abusive relationship with someone he really loves. And I wasn't going to mention it because I don't know how age, but I know he is an adult and his "girlfriend" is a minor. (She's 16) I'm hoping that he is 18, because any older than that.... He's a fucking creep.

Sorry I went off on a tangent like this,
But this kind os shit needs to stop! People shouldn't abuse their power like this.
"My car it is my life... and like my life it carries me around."

--- My Bubba and Mi
Picture drawn by ~isa~
Old Posted 08-11-2020, 11:09 PM Reply With Quote