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Default   #6   Suzerain of Sheol Suzerain of Sheol is offline
Desolation Denizen
Originally Posted by Espy View Post

10. Short choppy sentences. Yes, I get that they're structurally correct, but reading that makes my head hurt. It feels like everything is moving at a really fast pace. I do the short-sentences thing maybe once in a while, but usually in action scenes where the action is rapid and abrupt.
I prefer abrupt sentence fragments interwoven with more complicated sentences to emphasize a particular moment. All part of the reading rhythm.

I know the style you're talking about, it can be effective in small doses, but an entire book written that way would be maddening.

11. Description of character's appearance. I really don't care what color eyes a character has, where their oh-so-badass scar is located, and what kind of silk their doublet is stitched from. If it doesn't have some narrative relevance, I'm not interested. It's just filler and another crutch for engaging prose.

Unless the PoV character has some kind of OCD related to what people wear, I'd give that a pass for a short story, but even still, no way in a novel.
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.
Old Posted 11-15-2013, 10:11 PM Reply With Quote