[Merlin]

Warning: This thread contains mature themes.
I used to write small skits and sketches. They were all going to be converted to cartoons, but I never really got to it. Maybe you all will get a laugh out of it. I'll give you a rundown.

Friday's On Monday
A sketch comedy group featuring mainly 3 people.

Esteban- An alien who has made an honest living as Burger-Taco's manager. He is also the barista at the self-serve coffee machine, and major stars of many viral fetish videos. He is very genteel and distinguished, and sometimes even puts on a goatee.

Joe- The assistant manager of Burger-Taco. He has abnormal abilities including talking to a sheep in the Netherlands, speaking & dancing robot, ripping the head off a chicken and then chucking its body into a lake, and the power to move you. (Thank you if you get that joke.)

PiFF!!- An employee at Burger-Taco. PiFF!! Has a slight attitude problem. He either settles it by medicine or punching little kids repeatedly. Either one works. Before his job at Burger-Taco he lived in the basement of his parents' hut in Uzbekistan. Esteban went to Uzbekistan to make yet another hit viral porno entitled: "Do Her Gently, but Still with Tentacles." Esteban was not the star of this film -for he had no tentacles-, however he was the director since he had a vast knowledge of the alien anatomy. PiFF!! thought it was a long-shot from the goats that he was used to, but wanted to give it the ol' college try. Surely enough he failed, but was given a job at the restaurant.

We shall begin with Episode 1: Under New Ma-a-a-a-a-anagement.

Esteban- Damn it, Joe. You're the assistant manager. Assist manage PiFF!!

Joe- But Nörlflördink says he's on his break.

Esteban- Who is... Nor...floor... what?

Joe- Nörlflördink. He's from the Netherlands.

Esteban- That's not even real Dutch!

Joe- That's because I gave him that name. Pretty cool, huh?

Esteban- Nonetheless. Who is this person and why wasn't I informed.

Joe- You were on your set of your latest film "Die another day when I'm not taking you in the ass."

Esteban- Ah yes I had a rather busy day that day.

*Esteban looks back at his fond memories and accomplishments. Esteban and Joe go back to the kitchen to find the kitchen a mess PiFF!! is standing still like nothing happened, and there's a sheep in the middle of the room.*

Esteban- So where is this new fellow?

Nörlflördink- *Meep*

*Joe bursts out laughing hysterically*

Esteban- You hired a sheep to be our chef?

Joe- He makes some mean lamb chops.

Esteban- That's... pretty twisted.

Joe- It's ok. They killed his wife, raped his kid, kicked his dog, stole his wallet... *Joe goes on for three minutes straight of complaints* robbed a train... *Joe goes on for another ten minutes* I like spoons *Joe finally stops after about 3 minutes and twelve seconds* Ate a chicken *Oops... I'm mistaken... let's wait....* and made a fancy new pair of shoes. *Oh we're done here? Ok.*

Esteban- I understand now.

PiFF!!- *saying slowly* I caught a fish with my bare hands

Esteban- Lovely, Piff. Anyway. How did it get past the interview? It doesn't even talk.

Nörlflördink- *meep*

Joe- He says he is appalled by your racism, and this is poor working condition.

Nörlflördink- *meep*

Joe- Oh, and go f*** yourself.

Esteban- You can talk to this sheep?

Joe- Yeah, but it's only this sheep. No one else likes me.

Esteban- Nörlflördink, you are fired.

*Joe and Nörlflördink are on a hill staring at the sunset. The day is coming to an end, and somewhere out there people are burning Twilight books. Rather ironic seeing as how the time before night is Twi-*

Joe- Get on with it!

* Right then.*

Joe- Well, Nörlflördink. we had a pretty eventful day. You got a job, and lost it the same day.

Nörlflördink- *meep*

Joe- Hah you said it.

*Joe never knew what Nörlflördink meant by that last statement, but it would be burned into his psyche for all of eternity*

-------------------------End--------------------------

Thank you for reading ^^