[Suzerain of Sheol]

I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*

Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere.