[Jenny Harper]

I think I'm put off meds because I was given very very strong ones by doctors that couldn't even test for asthma right.

I don't want to change, I like being me. I think I'm so thought based that having my thoughts dulled by something chemical just upsets me.

Days are getting better, I still worry about money and had a spazz out because I burn some syrup tarts last night. But a user on Trisphee made me smile last night.

I'm even more worried about money because I have just enough for this Expo that is coming up, and that entails getting my mother a present for her Birthday while there. I panic because I have seen no sign of a job for me and I'm so worried. I think that is what sets me off. Then the world seems like it's ending.

I haven't had that many suicidal thoughts. I get my curiosities about what would happen if I did so and so, which would kill me. But I don't want to die. I suppose that's an upside.