this one.
Sorry if I'm harsh with my critiques >__<
1.)
The neck has to be thicker. I draw necks roughly the width of real-life, but my style is more realistic. Yours isn't, but the neck should still span from the middle of one eye to the middle of the other.
2.)
Shoulders should be slanted down a bit more. Hers go our almost horizontally; lower then a few degrees (they seem really stiff right now).
3.)
The torso is way too skinny. At the very least, the body should be as wide as the head (even then, it'd still be thin, even in terms of manga).
4.)
Hips should be around the width of the shoulders. This might be a bit difficult; I'll explain this later.
5.)
Head anatomy. Ok, first.
She needs a chin. And chins aren't that pointy, no matter what Americanized manga tutorials say. (I really screwed myself over reading those in fifth grade.) It should be a bit rounder. And if you have a chin, that means the mouth will be slighter higher up. I won't critique the nose right now because that's pretty hard. Eyes should also be higher up, same with the nose. I also get the feeling the wings are hiding a sharp corner in the face outline.
Don't do iiiiiiit. Human anatomy has no sharp corners. Lastly (before this becomes a wall of text), her hair looks tied back. That means we should definitely be able to see her ears. If there're sidebangs over her ears, they should surround the face and be visible.
---
Ok, so with the separate points done...I said I'd get back to the hips. That issues relates directly to the problem with the shoulders and torso.
The shoulders look like they're sitting on her breasts. Like I said, they should slope down a bit. They also shouldn't be that far from the torso, but that's easily remedied by making the torso wider, as I mentioned. Should be
at least the width of the head, but a bit thinner is fine for now. The chest area then wouldn't be much wider than the rest of the torso, or it'd seem strange. The hips are around shoulder-width, but for your style, make sure they're between torso- and shoulder-width. Elbows are at waist level, and the bone should be clearly set apart from the arm, jutting out and a bit sharp.
I think that's it for now; looking forward to your next drawing XD