[RedRum]

I'm unaware of the incident(s) in question but I believe it's being overdramatic to claim responsibility for the happiness of others and for all bad things happening particularly at this forum. Personally, I wasn't aware that much of anything was happening at this forum. There's been little activity here for quite a few years, I believe.

I can understand how certain emotional conditions such as bi-polar which is what comes to mind from what you've described can cause difficulty with civil expression and you're on the right track by deciding to hold back from posting unless you're feeling certain you're emotionally well enough but might I also suggest keeping a personal journal to direct your vents?