[Awen Moonshine]

Hey everyone,

Sorry I've not been posting much lately but I've had a string of bad luck and my depression had not only reared its ugly head again but it took over everything for a while and I've only just started feeling well enough to participate properly online again.

It started back in October when I had some company take money from me without authorization. Thankfully I spotted it fairly fast as close to £140 had just disappeared from my account and I phoned my bank and got it refunded and the payments to this unknown company stopped. What I didn't realize was that a week later the company itself gave me a refund (I got paid every few weeks and have always had random payments come into and go out of my account from eBay).

Then Thursday last week I got payed again (like I normally do) but when I checked my account a large payment had been "withdrawn" from my account that day (even though I'd not been out that day) so I phoned my bank again. Turns out that because the company had refunded me the bank had taken their money back (which would have been fine if it hadn't left me with only £40 for the next 2 weeks until my next load of pay was due)

Then I got woken by a pone call from the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) about my recent assessment saying that I failed it and my payments would stop. At this point I burst into tears. The woman on the phone told me that I can appeal but I basically have to go back on JSA (Job Seekers Allowance) which is part of the reason I got signed off in the first place. Not only that but I don't have the time or inclination to deal with them as I have a five month old that demands all my attention and I have recently started physiotherapy for my back that I need to go to.

If my family was close by I wouldn't be so worried about things I think because my Mum is an approved childminder (and loves little babies) and my Nan was a nursery nurse and looks after my cousin at least once a week for my Aunt. But I am miles away from all my family and barely see them once a month if that... (Also I can't drive so we can only visit at weekends when my partner isn't at work) Not only that but we don't know anyone or have any friends in the local area. (I find it especially hard to make friends outside of the internet as my personal insecurities tend to stop me from talking or even looking at other people).

Sorry for the wall of text but I just needed to get this off my chest and let you know I am still here, even if I'm not talking much (I lurk when my depression is bad and I'm not great at conversation) ^_^;;

- Awen