Espy
Wanderer
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#5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzerain of Sheol
9. Unrealistically prolonged and intricate fight scenes. People tire, especially when exerting explosive force through all their muscles over sustained periods. Also, fighting is messy. People make mistakes, everything doesn't look choreographed.
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Currently trying to fix that. My writing still sort of a mess, though.
And yeah, 8 bothers me and is a thing I've been messing with for my characters.
10. Short choppy sentences. Yes, I get that they're structurally correct, but reading that makes my head hurt. It feels like everything is moving at a really fast pace. I do the short-sentences thing maybe once in a while, but usually in action scenes where the action is rapid and abrupt.
Step in front of a runaway train
____Just to feel alive again
â•â•â•â•â•â•â•? ?•â•â•â•â•â• â•â•â•â•â•â•â•? ?•â•â•â•â•â•
Pushing forward through the night_____
Aching chest and blurry sight
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Posted 11-15-2013, 09:37 PM
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