[dirkydoodle]

I have a decent amount to get off my chest so here I go, hoping this is the right place to do so.
In less than two weeks I'm going to have to either go to a family meeting thing or seem like a complete a-hole by not going considering it's for remembering a member who died but like...I don't have any memories of him? I feel like I met him once and now I get to deal with my transphobic ass family.

I've also lately just been feeling not...stable? Not good to put it as lightly as possible. In the mental health department I've been needing to talk to my doctor lady about the possibility that I might have bpd, though it's a hard topic to bring up. But I've been getting worse and isolating myself from everyone, haven't been wanting to do literally anything. It's all become hard, everything has become so hard.

Final thing is that I have reason to believe I might be lithromantic, which is a form of aromantic for those who don't know. This in itself isn't a bad thing but someone I know recently told me they think they're aromantic to some extent. Which also isn't bad but my thoughts make me think that if I tell them they'll think I'm copying them because of someone thinking I copied them being trans before but like...I don't know. Logic believes they won't think that but I'm still terrified and have been avoiding talking to them about it. Which isn't hard in itself due to being in an isolating state again but it hurts at the same time.

Anyways, here's Wonderwall.
Sorry for the essay ;;