Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusion
Does this mean we have a God who can write anything into existence?
Please write into existence me losing 20 pounds and coincidently 20 pounds worth of pizza right next to me right after. Oh and some privacy, I have some uh. Business to do.
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Sweat trickled down Illusion's face as he jogged on the treadmill. During the last years he had tried about anything to lose a couple pounds, from paleo diet to weight watchers to training for Everest marathon.
But as different as those methods were from each other, they all had one thing in common. Success.
Or rather, lack thereof.
Each new method came with new hopes, yet each also had proved itself just as big a failure as the last. No, Illusion decided once he stepped off the treadmill without even looking at the feeble amount of calories burnt. He was past this mundane efforts once and for all. The time had come for something unique. Something so shocking he had never dared to try it before.
A dark bargain.
Naturally the idea of losing weight without any further effort sounded tempting, and who needs a soul these days anyway? So far even world renowned scientist had never been able to prove the existence of such a metaphysical concept for certain. Whereas Illusion's current problem was a very physical one.
It only took a contract signed with the suppliant's own blood, and suddenly for the first time since nine years Illusion liked what he saw in the mirror. The very same second a stack of fresh, hot pizza appeared in his hands. He teetered a little under the sudden weight, but that was
good weight. Delicious, steaming, wonderful weight.
Illusion took a deep breath and opened the first pizza box. Why on earth didn't he try this earlier? It was perfect! The dark side had even remembered what he thought about pineapple toppings.
Consequences be damned, he wanted to devour every single bite. It smelled so mouthwatering good, and the crust had just the right thickness. Cheese strands stretched seductively from the first slice...
Unfortunately, this is the internet. You don't get any privacy here.
What Illusion got, however: dozens of users who craved this pizza just as much as he did.
That teasing cheese pull seemed to be the trifle which pushed them over the edge. They swarmed him in an instant, ready to fight for honor, glory and pepperoni slices.
Now Illusion finally remembered why he had refrained from dark bargains before.