[Arsis_von_Neaera]

The rest of the piece suffers miserably, I agree with you entirely. I haven't read this in years, since I wrote it. Which was two years ago, probably in december-ish. I greatly appreciate the compliment. Though the gross detail of the environment is indeed a put off, I think it's almost necessary. It kind of makes the rest worth it. The two descriptions were originally poems, but both came from the same place, so I combined them into this narrative, which the story, although much of it unnecessary, was very symbolic.

But I agree, too telling throughout most of it, but totally worth reading anyways. I'll try and cut back on the detail. The detail comes from the fact that the environment is really my old bedroom. I've always wanted to paint its white walls...