[Chickenbone]

This is the reason I throw all my old poetry away.

Faltering

I think I'm going crazy,
I really do.
There's something so wrong,
Something so beyond my mind!

I try to keep calm,
Try to keep focused.
Still there's something pushing the right buttons,
Pushing me closer to the edge!

I get this way and my brain freezes,
Literally feels cold.
I don't care how crazy it sounds,
I really don't!

It hurts to breath,
Such a stabbing in my chest.
You don't believe me do you.
I can tell you don't!

I've felt empty before,
But this is not the same.
This scares me a lot,
It scares me because I've never felt this way!

I'm gripping to something that's not reality,
Me being happy is not reality.
I've made myself believe it for a while now,
I'm frightened that this false feeling is leaving me now!

The light's are faltering,
My sight is faltering.
This wont fix it,
I can't reach what will fix it!

There's no getting close enough,
I wont let myself get close enough.
What if finding what's wrong makes me break,
When I can't afford to break!