[Death by Mirrors]

Books:

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
― Groucho Marx

Technology:

If cats understood technology and had opposable thumbs, they'd rule the world.
— P.C. Cast, Awakened

Fashion:

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.
— Sophia Loren

Chickens:

You can't get a suit of armour and a rubber chicken just like that. You have to plan ahead.
— Michael Palin

Spoons:

High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless.
— John Mayer