[Rinni]

Dear Self;

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up; this faking a smile and a laugh so other people won't worry. My entire life, I've worn this mask, smiling and grinning when I really want to scream and cry. Smiling just to get others to smile, faking a laugh so my friends and family won't worry. This mask and resolve used to be made of stone, but lately it feels like it's made of chalk and starting to crumble.

I don't want it to. As much as I'd love to be genuine and honest, I have to keep smiling. There are people who need that of me. How can I be the "cheer-up" person if I am a mess myself? I'm still trying, still smiling and laughing and being as sunshiny as possible, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up.