[Pocket]

Ok so last week my hubby and I got in a fight over something I shouldn't have done.. I know it was stupid and wrong but he hardly talks to me..

I looked at his texts.. and he has more female friends and there were a few texts from one of them that went through me.. She had texted something like "I just want to hit her upside the head sometimes." and then he told her that he had a naughty dream about her.. Ya that could just be him being a guy but then at the same time is that him not seeing me as sexy anymore....

But back to the "I just want to hit her upside the head sometimes." It made me think of the almost same thing with some of my ex friends that I had to get rid of.. To make all that into a short story...I'd vent to them about stuff and one day one of them came over and let my hubby have it..needless to say I got yelled at for it.. It was one of those "get rid of the friends or its divorce."

After reading that text from her...all I could think about was what the hell...I vented to my first ever friends down here where I live and I have to get rid of them or its my marriage, yet you complain about me to her!? How the hell is that fair...

I don't have any friends that I can go get a cup of coffee with anymore.. I work and sleep.. I miss actually getting out and about with others rather then being up my hubby's butt 24/7..

The fight started right before work and that night at work was hell for me.. we haven't "finished" the fight and you can tell..

I want to just scream at him "Don't you love me!?" A few other times, about unrelated things, he has made the comments about if he can't work to get it himself he isn't happy... I can understand that 100%. But the fact that after my mom passed away we were able to get our own apartment and soon our new home... and you haven't been happy the whole 2 years we've been married....

I just feel like I should say "I give up..."