[Ginger]

Dear self;

I don't know what you want me to say anymore. Nothing you say will bring you closer to anyone or anyone closer to you. It's as if people are afraid of replying to anything you say because you're viewed as a damn loser, and they're afraid of being looked down upon as well. I hope you don't change because you really are a very caring person. You're just quiet. Growing up, you were a loner no matter where you went because you knew you'd be moving again. You thought having more people in your life for a short amount of time would have been a waste because you would never get to see them again or experience their company. But you know.. maybe some friendships are supposed to be short. Maybe the more people you meet and create friendships with is actually a good thing. You don't know where you'll be in 20 years. Maybe you'll see a couple of them again someday. But if you were to start all over again and were given the chance to choose any clique to be in, I bet you would keep choosing loner because you're a coward. But you know? You're not leaving again anytime soon. You're almost 20 years old. Surprising, yes? Keep hiding in that box and maybe people will actually leave you alone like you've been trying to make happen for months now. Start eating right again. Skipping meals doesn't save them much money anyway, and sleeping in so skipping meals will be easier for you just makes you look like a lazy tard. When you get a job and have the money, go to the doctor immediately, and not your family doctor. Something is seriously wrong with your body. Everyone thinks you complain all the time about not feeling good, you're lazy, and you're apparently too needy. If only they understood the pain you've been going through, but then again, who wants to know about another person's menstrual cycle? Maybe you're right in keeping that to yourself. Try not to wear pajamas most of the day, even though yes they are way more comfortable than day clothes. Pajamas and looking like a mess for two weeks a month makes you look even more lazy. Just because you're ignored by everyone doesn't mean you should ignore whoever is ignoring you. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be completely invisible to everyone. Stop dreaming and start living.

FYI, tampons don't do a very good job at crushing spiders. Next time you see one, grab a shoe instead of a feminine product and smash the shit out of it.

With love,
Miranda Greenlee (Yourself.)