[CupcakeDolly]

Tried to make a cute title... might have failed.;; Not sure if drug use merits a mature rating, but I figured I'd be safe.

The situation is this: I'm druggie (not gonna dance around it, that's just the way it is), and I'm on felony probation until next year. Until then at any time I can be subjected to random drug and alcohol tests. If I fail, I go to jail. I've been jonesing hard, as druggies tend to do, but I've been doing fine until now.

At the beginning of the month, we moved into a duplex next to a really cool hippy couple who are constantly drinking and smoking weed. Now, *I* can't do either, but my boyfriend can. He's been abstaining so far because he knows I'll feel bad/jealous if he does anything without me. These neighbors are now constantly trying to get him to smoke with them, and tonight he finally came to me and told me that he really wants to.

I would definitely be jealous if he did anything, but at the same time he's his own person, capable of making his own choices. I fucked up, and now I have to pay the consequences for it, while he is free to do whatever he wants. I absolutely won't allow him to say that he "can't" do anything because of me, but nonetheless he "won't" because he knows that I'll be upset. I don't even really like weed too much, it's drinking and other drugs that I've tried that I miss the most. I guess I'd just feel bad seeing him do what I know I can't.

So... I don't know. I partially just wanted to get that out, maybe see if anyone else might have a solution.

Oh, yeah, and keep your anti-drug propaganda away from this thread. Cuz I don't really care. =P