Trisphee - View Single Post - Murder of Crows

Sadrain · Posted 08-03-2011, 04:33 PM

Hm, I like it, but there is this one thing bugging me... The "didn't's".
While, first time it is not so bothersome, the second... it absolutely trips the whole steady flow, it takes away the serious flow. I think it would sound much better, much more firm if it was like: "He imagined he knew death as well as the next person, and he was positive about one thing: death did not have a halo and red eyes."
But that is my deeply personal opinion.

		#8	Sadrain Resident ghost caracal
Hm, I like it, but there is this one thing bugging me... The "didn't's". While, first time it is not so bothersome, the second... it absolutely trips the whole steady flow, it takes away the serious flow. I think it would sound much better, much more firm if it was like: "He imagined he knew death as well as the next person, and he was positive about one thing: death did not have a halo and red eyes." But that is my deeply personal opinion. ~ Hello, I am Sadrain, a ghost Caracal, but you can call me Rainy. Nice to meet you. =^-^= ~ ~Questing: Yearlies, RIGs, Lot of MIs, RUNES (always), Aurum Shop: Selling MOST EIs \| NOT updated buying thread ~ \|~ Status: Questing so much things I don't know where to start ~\| ~Manning Crow's Nest on Haunted Galleon under Captain Lawtan's rule ~
	Posted 08-03-2011, 04:33 PM