[MuseSick]

See- The sad thing is is I know that's not why they do it. I don't even bring up the Abuse.. To really ANYONE. I never have. Because if it makes me uncontrollably sobb, I doubt it makes anyone else feel good either. But I've just ASKED if we can talk, because I need someone to talk to and have been turned down.
One of them- the only case where she gave me permission but turned around and took it back was not to long ago.
I was home alone for the weekend and I was miserable.. To the point where I skyped her, with a blow dryer plugged in and bath water running.. Because I was at that breaking point..
I started talking about how I was disappoint that I don't get to know people like I used to and how I've felt like I've made nothing but crappy friends. (She knew this was not including her.. It does NOW, she's a shitty friend. but, before of course, yeah.)
She told me to stop, she had her own friend issues and didn't want to hear it, and she told me to shut up and hung up on me.
Meanwhile I asked first thing "i can talk about ANYTHING?" she said I could..
and she let me down.
I almost get tiered of being the better friend a lot of the time..
I'm always there for them, every waking moment of the day..
Then when I turn around and need somebody to lean on, it's like they've all suddenly decided "FUCK YOU" and left.