Bilbo gets up and stands on a chair under the big tree. His right hand is in his pocket.
Bilbo: My dear Bagginses and Boffins...
Hobbits cheer.
Bilbo: Tooks and Brandybucks...
More cheering. Merry stands up and bows to the crowd, which provokes laughter.
Bilbo: Grubbs, Chubbs, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies...
Cheering.
Bilbo: And Proudfoots!
Proudfoot: Proudfeet!
Hobbit laugh.
Bilbo: Proudfoots(beat) Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!
The hobbits cheer.
Bilbo: I hope you are all enjoyingyourselves as much as I am.
More cheers. Some of the hobbits think Bilbo is done, and start playing instruments. Pippin gets up on the table and starts dancing. Someone shouts "Get down you fool of a Took!"
Bilbo grabs a nearby horn and blows into it. The noise subsides.
Bilbo: I shall not keep you long.
Cheering.
Bilbo: I have called you all together for a purpose.
The hobbits quiet down.
Bilbo: First of all, eleventy-one years is far too short to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits.
Loud cheering.
Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Confused looks from the hobbits.
Bilbo: Also, today is the day my nephew Frodo comes into his inheritance.
Cheering. Lobelia and Otho scowl.
Otho: Comes into his inheritance. Indeed!
Bilbo: Finally, I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT.
All the hobbits sit up straight, listening to him.
Bilbo: I regret to announce that this is the end. I am leaving NOW.
Frodo looks slighly troubled.
Bilbo: Good-Bye!
Bilbo suddenly vanishes. All of the Hobbits are stunned into silence. Then they suddenly all start talking at once.