[Suzerain of Sheol]

I see what you mean about phantom, though I'm not sure if anyone who doesn't have a lit degree would notice that. :p I'll think about changing it.

And I think we must have a difference of perspective or something on imperil. It just... doesn't come off that way to me, and I don't really think of the word in general as being a hallmark of pomposity. And, I mean, I can actually *hear* him saying that line in my head and it just sounds right to me. (Xavier is totally voiced by Crispin Freeman in my head. :p)

And I do understand what you mean about the fragments, I'm going to attribute it mostly to my writing style. Like, despite the third-person narration, this whole thing is sort of written from Amilia's immediate perspective and, to me, those just don't present a snag in the narrative since it's a direct continuation of the thought she was having right beforehand, related as it is through the third-person perspective.

...that probably doesn't make any sense. :|

Oh, and "If the world could but lay down its arms" is a closing thought, if it was a trailed-off opening, I would have ended it with an ellipses. :p

But... if they're sticking out that much, they're probably a problem, despite my lack-of-seeing-a-problem with them, so I should probably change them.