[Suzerain of Sheol]

Well, I would hope you know I'm good for it. :p I do know the feeling, though (you've had that chapter of mine for how long? Joking, joking!)

Anyway, for one thing, this feels really fast. I honestly feel like this could be almost novel-length. At the moment, it gives a sort of tip-of-the-iceberg feel, which, on one hand, is good, because it's a pretty cool setting you're hinting at here. But on the other hand, it's frustrating knowing that there's nothing else forthcoming.

Other than that, I'll just note that you have a tendency to repeat words in here in pretty close proximity to each other, which I personally find kind of grating when reading, though I know some people don't mind that so much. Especially near the beginning, I recall "sky" and "blue" getting thrown around a lot in the opening section.

Something else. I assume this is written in 3rd person omniscient? I found it kind of jarring the way you would describe characters coming onto the scene like they were strangers, when they aren't strangers to the characters in the scene. This is probably the most problematic in the first part, seeing as there's not much to give the indication that we're not seeing thing's from Cor's perspective.

That's mostly all that stood out to me besides a few lines here and there. One thing I did wonder was why you decided to use the name Razael, just out of my interest in angelology.

Oh, also, I will say that I found the fight scenes really easy to visualize, which is a mark in your favor. I have a hard time picturing what's going on a lot of the time in fantasy fights.