[AceValkyrie]

So, a year or two ago I left the guy I love dearly for a dumb boy who broke me apart... just because the guy I love is in another country and I can't hold him, and I was infatuated with this boy. So I broke his heart twice, I just threw away a relationship of 4 years without giving it any credit. I said some pretty awful things to him, and I might never forgive myself for that even though he knows I was lying the whole time.
After the second break up we tried being friends, but it didn't really work out that well... We were both out to making one another jealous. He had a new girl friend and I had a new boyfriend... what would we expect really?
So we both said goodbye to each other and left each others life. I wanted to go back to him soo many times, but at that time I knew I would hurt him so I decided to fix myself first and get my mind straight.. and to grow up because I was being soo stupid. A week ago I finally contacted him in every means that I could (I went all out of him, gaia, myspace, and email), he finally got my email and was completely shocked because he thought I would never talk to him again. He was also very thankful that I didn't forget him. The moment we started to talk it was all sorry's.
So he asked me questions, and I answered him truthfully. And he said that he still loves me very much, but I have to make up for what I did, and he can't be with me.. at least not yet. He says I have to prove to him that he can trust me again. I am setting off to do just that, I want to prove to him that he can trust me again. But it seems to be hard because he has other girls in his life, and I get super upset over that. But I know that, if he wants to be with them I can't stop him and its for his own happiness. And if he wants me to leave and stop right there so he could be happy with someone else, I would.. or if I see that he is happy with someone else I will him right away, but she has to make him happy like I did for 4 years.. and love him the same way. Though he knows if he goes out with the other girl (who lives miles away from him too) who loves him, I wont stop him in any terms because he knows I want him to be happy.. but he also knows that I am not giving up on him so easily.
But it seems that it gets harder each day... but I know for a fact that when you love something so much you have to fight for it.. But I also know that if it comes to a point of no hope, I must let him go but still be there for him.
So guys.. who do I deal with this while I fight for him? How do I make it through? and tips? Please be honest, even if you think it may hurt me.