Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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#13
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Um, yeah, add that line to the list of examples I gave for cliches. Right at the top. That's the only line that's really an offender as far as cliches go. The others could stay without dragging down the writing too far.
Just a general suggestion for writing, use the word "darkness" very carefully. :p
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.
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Posted 05-23-2011, 08:44 PM
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