[Glitch]

A year ago I was diagnosed with HPV. I was ready to throw in the towel right then. But I went and had all of my tests done the conclusion they gave me, "I was fine."

Today I got a phone call telling me I still have it. I was hurt and destroyed and felt once again like all of my life plans of being a mother were gone. I sought out my boyfriend for comfort and he told me he'd get a surrogate to have a baby with - because he simply has to have a child with his genes. I'm sure this shouldn't have crushed me as bad as it did but my whole world just fell apart.

I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can even go home and face him. I love him to death - I just wanted him to say he'd be there for me and when I asked he comes back with, "I'll just get a surrogate."

It was just my one life dream to have a baby of my own and to adopt a little girl from China. And I feel like he doesn't even care that my life dream may possibly be gone. I know you can still have children after being diagnosed but it's a lot harder if I have to have the operation.

I feel like the rapture might just have happened after all. :(