[Kenly]

my dad's one of those guys, too, who seem to think that physical abuse (because that's what it really is) is a sign of affection. and if you tell him it hurts, he gives you a look, or says 'bullshit. i'm not doing it that hard.' it's something i had to grow up with. he'd just walk by and punch you in the arm or the leg. it got to the point where you tried to avoid being within arm's reach of him. -so, where that's concerned, i know what you mean and can sympathize. there's really not much i can think to tell you to do because every time i've ever said anything to my dad, he got mad and defensive. and i've even gotten the line 'fine! i'll never touch you again! will that make you happy?!' which lasted for about a month...

as for the intimacy part... some guys take 'breaks'. my husband's like that. things can be great for a while, then we'll drop down to once a week-if we're lucky. and he's not a very touchy person, either. hell, i'm lucky if i get foreplay most times...