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Meizicht · 08:36 PM

The person I was dating for a while was younger than me by 2 and a half years. So he's currently 5 months away from being 18. His mother is a bit controlling. Well.. not just a bit, but a lot. I'll keep this totally anonymous, and nobody here knows him, so I figure sharing here wont be a problem.
Well.. This woman, his mother, is overly religious in a way where she is discriminatory not only against other religions, but also skin color. I'm white, he and is mother are not, so without saying it, she instantly jumped on the chance to make mine and his lives miserable.
Me and him were very good friends for a while before we talked about being together, even though the only thing we ever did was write stories together ( rp, and such ), talk to each other, and tell each other we loved one another. We were - are - very close, and we help each other with everything. But his mother never approved of me. She's demanded for proof of my existence, and at first, I was willing, 100% to provide as much proof as possible since I have nothing to hide, and I did. I talked to her on the phone, I've never said one suspicious thing, it's been several months, and she's even talked to my mom. But then she turned around the other day, called my mom at 6:30 in the morning, and told her to tell me to never talk to him again.
There's no reason anymore for her to hate me. There's no reason at all.
After she said some things to my mom, my mom lost it and hung up on her. I can only imagine she disrespected my own mother, and that was enough for me. This woman then called me to talk to me, and I couldn't hold back myself. I sobbed all over the phone and blurted out everything I could, asking her why she was harassing me like this, why she would never listen to her own son, and she told me she did listen. But he tells me himself that she never does, and the proof is in the way she acts. All I can ever get in on the phone with her is "ah- uh-" and she talks the whole time. So this time, I ignored her ramblings and continued to yell my opinions at her as I was pathetically bawling at the back door while my mom yelled for me to just hang up. In the end, that woman hung up on ME in the middle of my sentence.
That was it.
She told me I was the worst he'd ever been with. That I was disturbing the peace. I'm not a bad person; I'm willing to admit I've never smoked, drank, gotten into trouble, I'm a virgin to everything STILL, even though I'm 20, and I've never even skipped school or snuck out of the house. HOW am I such a bad person? I can only imagine there's three huge reasons:
I'm white.
I'm an atheist.
Her son is getting close to me because I listen to him and care.
She's even threatened to have me arrested! And I've done absolutely nothing bad.
In the end, in order to relieve it, I had to break up with him so she wouldn't go on another rampage and make his life worse. But I couldn't leave it on that note. Here's what I've sent to him:

"I'll say, though, that if we're supposed to be happy with each other, we'll talk again. Nothing I say or do can change whatever opinion that your mom has of me, whether it be because I'm white, an Atheist, or other reasons I was born with that I cannot help; whatever the reason is for all this hate and stress, it'll go away eventually. Yesterday, I was a broken mess, but it's in my nature to bounce back. To be able to deal with all this harrassment and stress like this, I have a right to say that I am not playing any games and I am not easily giving up on this. Whether I'm just a friend, it'll turn out okay. Nobody has the right to be denied happiness. But now's the time for confidence and positivity. Wherever you want to be, who you want to be with and what you want to do; stand up for yourself and be your own person. I'll support you as a good friend. I wont be answering the phone anymore if your mother decides to call me. Her disrespect to me and MY own mother was the last straw for my patience in doing all the listening. When someone disrespects my mother and angers her in that way, it's not fair. I tried to tell her my side, but she wants none of it. You are treated as you treat others. So I will not listen to her just as she has not listened to me. I will not treat her with any more respect than she has given to me. No more lies of "I think you're a good person" because obviously, we would not be in this mess if that was the case.
In her eyes, I'm nothing but an evil outside influence. An "unbeliever" to which she is "superior". A person with a different colored skin tone, which I had no choice in becoming. But humans are humans. Humans = humans. Not Human who believes in one thing > human who believes in something else. What about this world condones that kind of discrimination? Even though she's threatened me with the police, I have done nothing wrong in all these months. I've done nothing but talk and I've been nothing but a good friend. We've been there for each other, helped each other when nobody else would. With my own family and friends behind me, I have confidence that everything will be fine and things will eventually turn for the better. Patience is a virtue. But again..
I may have seemed easily changed before, but it wont happen this time. I am who I am. I am a good friend. And I'll stand behind my friends 100%. Rain or shine, good times and bad. Religion has nothing to do with this. Skin color has nothing to do with this. So just know I'll be here rooting for you, even if you can't hear/see it. I'll be patient until you can talk to me again.
And I refuse to continue kneeling at anyone's feet. I am my own person and I am a GOOD one. So if I am not "good enough", who would be? This may sound like arrogance, but.. I will not be pulled around on puppet strings anymore. I was raised by amazing parents, I was surrounded by good people, and I turned out the same.
But if I'm called and harrassed again, my mother will be the only person your own mother will be able to talk to. Because I have no intention of listening to a person who doesn't take the time to listen to the person she preaches to. I've given her plenty of chances, plenty of proof that I am me. There is no reason for this ridiculous drama.
I'll be rooting for you over here. Work hard and be happy, if not for anyone else, but for me. Because if you're happy, I'll be happy too.
You're your own person. Don't let anyone tell you you're not.
So even though we'll just be friends, I'll still be here to be a good one."

I'm hoping he sees it. If he gets online and sees my messages, and she spies as she has been, and calls; she'll deal with my mother. Either way, though, if he sees it, he'll be overjoyed and that's all I want. I want him to be able to get through her controlling grip and to become the person he wants to be, and that's all.
All I need now is a strong wall of friends and family behind me, some reassurance and confidence, and everything will be better than before.

I'm posting this to get some opinions, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the right. And I'm also trying to gather confidence; I kind of need it.

I don't know why I'm not surprised by this point that I was just something temporary in the first place.

Meizicht Cage		I was wrong and left behind in the end.	#1
	The person I was dating for a while was younger than me by 2 and a half years. So he's currently 5 months away from being 18. His mother is a bit controlling. Well.. not just a bit, but a lot. I'll keep this totally anonymous, and nobody here knows him, so I figure sharing here wont be a problem. Well.. This woman, his mother, is overly religious in a way where she is discriminatory not only against other religions, but also skin color. I'm white, he and is mother are not, so without saying it, she instantly jumped on the chance to make mine and his lives miserable. Me and him were very good friends for a while before we talked about being together, even though the only thing we ever did was write stories together ( rp, and such ), talk to each other, and tell each other we loved one another. We were - are - very close, and we help each other with everything. But his mother never approved of me. She's demanded for proof of my existence, and at first, I was willing, 100% to provide as much proof as possible since I have nothing to hide, and I did. I talked to her on the phone, I've never said one suspicious thing, it's been several months, and she's even talked to my mom. But then she turned around the other day, called my mom at 6:30 in the morning, and told her to tell me to never talk to him again. There's no reason anymore for her to hate me. There's no reason at all. After she said some things to my mom, my mom lost it and hung up on her. I can only imagine she disrespected my own mother, and that was enough for me. This woman then called me to talk to me, and I couldn't hold back myself. I sobbed all over the phone and blurted out everything I could, asking her why she was harassing me like this, why she would never listen to her own son, and she told me she did listen. But he tells me himself that she never does, and the proof is in the way she acts. All I can ever get in on the phone with her is "ah- uh-" and she talks the whole time. So this time, I ignored her ramblings and continued to yell my opinions at her as I was pathetically bawling at the back door while my mom yelled for me to just hang up. In the end, that woman hung up on ME in the middle of my sentence. That was it. She told me I was the worst he'd ever been with. That I was disturbing the peace. I'm not a bad person; I'm willing to admit I've never smoked, drank, gotten into trouble, I'm a virgin to everything STILL, even though I'm 20, and I've never even skipped school or snuck out of the house. HOW am I such a bad person? I can only imagine there's three huge reasons: I'm white. I'm an atheist. Her son is getting close to me because I listen to him and care. She's even threatened to have me arrested! And I've done absolutely nothing bad. In the end, in order to relieve it, I had to break up with him so she wouldn't go on another rampage and make his life worse. But I couldn't leave it on that note. Here's what I've sent to him: "I'll say, though, that if we're supposed to be happy with each other, we'll talk again. Nothing I say or do can change whatever opinion that your mom has of me, whether it be because I'm white, an Atheist, or other reasons I was born with that I cannot help; whatever the reason is for all this hate and stress, it'll go away eventually. Yesterday, I was a broken mess, but it's in my nature to bounce back. To be able to deal with all this harrassment and stress like this, I have a right to say that I am not playing any games and I am not easily giving up on this. Whether I'm just a friend, it'll turn out okay. Nobody has the right to be denied happiness. But now's the time for confidence and positivity. Wherever you want to be, who you want to be with and what you want to do; stand up for yourself and be your own person. I'll support you as a good friend. I wont be answering the phone anymore if your mother decides to call me. Her disrespect to me and MY own mother was the last straw for my patience in doing all the listening. When someone disrespects my mother and angers her in that way, it's not fair. I tried to tell her my side, but she wants none of it. You are treated as you treat others. So I will not listen to her just as she has not listened to me. I will not treat her with any more respect than she has given to me. No more lies of "I think you're a good person" because obviously, we would not be in this mess if that was the case. In her eyes, I'm nothing but an evil outside influence. An "unbeliever" to which she is "superior". A person with a different colored skin tone, which I had no choice in becoming. But humans are humans. Humans = humans. Not Human who believes in one thing > human who believes in something else. What about this world condones that kind of discrimination? Even though she's threatened me with the police, I have done nothing wrong in all these months. I've done nothing but talk and I've been nothing but a good friend. We've been there for each other, helped each other when nobody else would. With my own family and friends behind me, I have confidence that everything will be fine and things will eventually turn for the better. Patience is a virtue. But again.. I may have seemed easily changed before, but it wont happen this time. I am who I am. I am a good friend. And I'll stand behind my friends 100%. Rain or shine, good times and bad. Religion has nothing to do with this. Skin color has nothing to do with this. So just know I'll be here rooting for you, even if you can't hear/see it. I'll be patient until you can talk to me again. And I refuse to continue kneeling at anyone's feet. I am my own person and I am a GOOD one. So if I am not "good enough", who would be? This may sound like arrogance, but.. I will not be pulled around on puppet strings anymore. I was raised by amazing parents, I was surrounded by good people, and I turned out the same. But if I'm called and harrassed again, my mother will be the only person your own mother will be able to talk to. Because I have no intention of listening to a person who doesn't take the time to listen to the person she preaches to. I've given her plenty of chances, plenty of proof that I am me. There is no reason for this ridiculous drama. I'll be rooting for you over here. Work hard and be happy, if not for anyone else, but for me. Because if you're happy, I'll be happy too. You're your own person. Don't let anyone tell you you're not. So even though we'll just be friends, I'll still be here to be a good one." I'm hoping he sees it. If he gets online and sees my messages, and she spies as she has been, and calls; she'll deal with my mother. Either way, though, if he sees it, he'll be overjoyed and that's all I want. I want him to be able to get through her controlling grip and to become the person he wants to be, and that's all. All I need now is a strong wall of friends and family behind me, some reassurance and confidence, and everything will be better than before. I'm posting this to get some opinions, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the right. And I'm also trying to gather confidence; I kind of need it. I don't know why I'm not surprised by this point that I was just something temporary in the first place. Last edited by Meizicht; 05-04-2011 at 08:36 PM.
		Posted 05-02-2011, 07:36 AM