[Fey]

See, this is when I'd be a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal jerk. I print up the 'treaty' and place it on the fridge, then I would, every day, write down one thing. Just one. 'Cleaned Dishes', 'Dusted potted plants', whatever it is you choose, but ONE thing ONLY. Make it reeeeeeeally big and obnoxios.

When he gets home and asks tell him, "My time clock is on the fridge, I recorded what I did." Leave it at that. If he gives you grief inform him that the words of the 'treaty' state one thing, you have met your part of the agreement. If he wishes to renegotiate you're willing, but he will have terms to agree to as well. I can promise he won't like that.

Sit down with him, your husband and your mom. Spell out the terms you want, and I would include 'no hostile home environment' at the top of the list. Agree to terms you like, IE willing to maintain the kitchen, laundry whatever, but spell out what you WON'T DO, IE put away individual's laundry.

Are they being really nice and letting you live with them? Yep, but that doesn't mean you're their verbal or physical punching bag. The funny thing is you can arguably use the word 'abuse' in this situation and it's FITTING, so do so, make him realize he's doing it to you on a daily basis.