[Misericorde]

Originally Posted by Funkduder

I see that there's a definite standstill at play. You feel that you mother, now deceased, was the only one that understood you in real life, the only one who saw you for something more and accepted every part of you, as you are while the rest of the world seems to look at you in spite.
But you mention a few that have been with you in the right way that "ended up hurting" you. How so? Was it a matter of love, or was it a different complication?

Those that ended up hurting me were my ex's. For the most part. 80% of them cheated on me, and the rest lied to and used me. Only one of them did neither of those things, but he dumped me for a reason I still don't think is true. Any "love" or "understanding" that I have ever had has been shattered to pieces due to their acts. I want to find someone that will love me for who I am, not be ashamed of me, someone that will be proud to be with me and go out of their way to stay faithful to me and honest to me. It's not something that I have EVER had. Not online, not in real life, only in my dreams. Only in my mind where the figments of my own creation do more damage than they can repair. My mind and my heart are my own enemy, wanting what I cannot have, wanting what this idiotic world will never grant me...