[Jurinjo]

I logged out cause I was feeling nervous but had to log back in for your response Shen.

Me I'm like you. Hard to anger and feel like isolating myself when I interact too much. Is that really what a friend is though? I have one coworker who is like you described yours. More often than not he's aggravating to the point I've contemplated beating him with a fast track more than once (the thing price labels at walmart sit in). He's annoyed me to the point of kicking a dent into my truck. He makes jokes at my expense (I'm a klutz and easy to confuse). Yet he can funny and enjoyable to be around despite the degree of anger I experience around him. I hate being angry, never have I had road rage before working at walmart (not always his fault but some have been). I wonder if he is one of those people I can call friends.

With the ones I DO call friends but feeling uncertain... well Mick sort of fell for a girl and just doesn't talk with almost anyone from before even his family. He was very important to me and the one I mentioned who pulled me aside. There is Joe who has always been there for me despite my less "whoohoo party!" than his and he's a tall dork but fun for sure. They're jsut not around.

I'm afraid I pushed many of them away. The only two still around are Dee (who was a friend of Mick and I only acquainted to her before he left), and John who...well may be my only true friend. I keep pushing him away cause he's trying to get me to hang out with old church friends which makes me feel guilty with another thing I'm struggling with best left untouched for now.

A long post and tough questions. One not solvable with just simple words and...well you're not a therapist right? I doubt one is reading this and anyone who is isn't going to get over a $100 an hour from me heh...

I was thinking of confront them and talking like I did in my first post in a way. How I can even know if they're not just tolerating me out of pity? >_<