[johnny]

I don't know what my grandparents died of. They were all in their 70s, though. Except my paternal grandfather, who I think was closer to 60. But he was wounded in World War II and was never at top health afterward.

My great aunt and uncle are both in their 80s, though. They're the closest I have to grandparents, since all of mine died before I turned twelve.

And I've never told any of my friends or family that I used to think about killing myself, mostly because I knew I probably would never do it. Lmfao, it's mostly my selfishness and self-centeredness keeping me going whenever I have those thoughts, because I constantly think about how people would react, and I wouldn't be there to know for sure. Besides, I've kind of grown used to my general state of depression and self-loathing. It's working as kind of a buffer now. No matter what other people have to say to me, they probably can't do worse than what I have to say about myself.