[Sadrain]

I... I don't really fear death. What I fear is lot of pain before that, pain in general. I have been close to death and for me, that was just sinking deeper and deeper in sleep, getting freed from all the physical suffering I was going trough at that time and that returned when I woke up.
What makes me the saddest is the thought that most of my friends, since they are in Internet, would never find out what happened, I would just disappear on them. Which is one of the reasons why I worry about friends who disappear randomly. Sometimes things happen so unexpectedly...
I kind of don't think person ends with death. I can't say I believe in Heaven or Hell, but I believe that person just ends there and then when their heart stops beating. So, I suppose the knowledge how sad would be my few close people when parting with me, and that I wouldn't be able to be with them for a long time, is the thing that makes me the saddest when I think about moment I will depart from this world.